The BIG day happened!!! Finally, I step on stage!

Hello hello blog world!!!!

For the last couple weeks I haven't been posting much because I didn't want to post too much about my body's changes but also because I really didn't have a ton of extra energy lying around to write, post and update.  BUT the big day I had been training for was last Saturday, so I wanted to do a recap of the day and post some pics on my progress!!!  Here's the start to finish of the weekend!

THURSDAY:  Flying home
Thursday started off with my "last chance" workout with my coach.  Yep, I might of had a 7:15am flight but I did a 5:15am workout before I flew out!  I had two carry ons of important things:
1.  My food!  Yeah I had no idea how easy it is to take your own food on a flight.  Nobody even said anything or asked me any questions.  I had chicken, tilapia and asparagus in my lunch box along with all my vitamins.
2.  My suits and shoes!  I wanted to make sure that even IF the worst happened and they lost my luggage I would still be able to step on stage.  So I had my suit, themewear and heels for both in my bag.
Yes I ate on the plane, yes I hate eating pre-cooked food in public, yes people stare at me from time to time but I was going to do what I had to do in order to feel confident on that stage.
After we arrived we needed some last minute grocery shopping, I did some food prep at my in-laws house, did a last time run, walk, lunge cardio session on the treadmill and finished the day off resting and catching up with family.

FRIDAY:  Day before show
After my 20 min easy walk to warm up my day I spent time with my mom.  My mom had drove in to see the show and visit with family so I spent the morning running some errands with her.  I came home to rest and then I went to get my spray tan!  Now let me tell you about competition spray tans- they are annoying.  I swear even the littlest drop of water will create a mess!  And I am not good with those types of things!  So I definitely needed touch ups the next day.  Then it was time to go home and get dressed for the athletes meeting and packet pick up!  Now maybe I missed the memo about dressing up for the meeting but I thought with my cute dress and wedges I would look just fine but there were some athletes dressed like they were going to a club here in Vegas.  Glitzed heels, tight sexy dresses and hair and makeup done up.  Guess I'll know for next time (if there is a next time!)  We wrote out bios, got my number - 450!!!  I almost had a heart attack because they had me in the wrong category and then they couldn't find my original number and when they did my name wasn't the one on the packet so they had to make another packet and number.  Let's just say I almost thought of having a small little panic attack then I remembered stress makes me hold onto water weight so a few deep breaths later it was all solved!
    Then it was on to stay at my friend Jessica's house and just chill, chit chat and relax.  She's one of my best friends and I don't know if I would have survived college without her and a few of our friends.  I had a great night of doing what we do best when we are around each other, nothing but enjoying each others company!  Then it was on to sweet dreams while Jessica and her cake building partner Ashley worked on a delicious cake for after my show!  They were like cake elves!

SATURDAY:  Show Day
6 am wake up call!!!!  I was ready for the day and pretty nervous!  I wanted to get some breakfast in even though I had an excited tummy!  Then before I knew it 7am was there and it was time to get my hair going, 8am rolled around and it was time for makeup!!!  During this time Jessica and the girls doing my hair and makeup kept my mind busy with chatting and asking questions about my training and before I knew it I looked in the mirror and I did not recognize myself!!  That's when you know you've got an amazing team doing a fabulous job!

My make-up and hair done!  I look a lot
different without my gym attire and usual
ponytail :)

I was at the venue by 9:30 am and had already eaten two meals, nervously found a spot in the girls waiting room and put my legs up as much as possible.  The more I was off my legs the better so I don't hold on to any water weight in my legs.  My main goal backstage was to make sure that I realized how far I had come and not start to compare myself to other girls.  It's easy to do because there is a lot of hard work on display and it's easy to realize that your abs don't look like someone else's or that someone's suit is better than yours.  I knew how damaging thoughts like that can be to how I felt about myself on stage, so my goal was to worry about myself, celebrate that I have lost 43 pounds, and try not to trip on stage and remember my poses!  Before I stepped on stage I got to have some peanut butter and a little extra oatmeal!  I was a happy carbed up camper!  Here I am before lineup! 

Ready to do this!!  LOVE my suit!
Figure Suits by Jodi

Here's the beginning to end of my Journey!!!  165 pounds to 120 pounds!
I can't believe that I did it!!!

Then it was time for the break in between shows and I came back and it was time for themewear!  In the WBFF the division I competed in is called Fitness Model Diva and not only do competitors wear a bikini but also create a costumed theme wear for the stage!  Lots of people use wings or feathers of some sort but I wasn't into that so I chose a Matador Bull Fighter!  

I wore the cape as a skirt when I first came out
on stage and then BAM I took it off to use as a cape

Some things that surprised me about being on stage/competition day:

1.  The judges are a lot closer than you think, so basically you are walking on stage and looking straight down.  They are super close!  It kind of surprised me a little.  You can see every facial expression they are making at all times.  If I compete again this is one thing I will have to get better at, I made eye contact but I didn't do a great job of maintaining eye contact.  

2.  The amount of candy that people eat backstage.  The idea is that the candy keeps you energized and somehow helps with your muscle tone appearance.  Kind of strange but people start busting out the M&M's, candy corn, some cupcakes, hershey's bars, you name it!  I kept to PB and oatmeal and towards the last time I stepped on stage I ate my Quest bar.

3.  How nice some girls are and how not nice some girls can be.  I didn't have a lot of people be rude really but I had some not be as interested in talking to me.  But some of the girls I spent the most time with were really nice and it was great to talk to a group of girls who had been going through the same things I had.  Meal prep, relationship stuff, workouts, not being able to think straight during peak week, and tan touch ups.  

I wasn't entering this contest to win a pro card/win first place.  I knew some of the girls in my division had physiques that were going to take the top spots and they had been on stage before.  They didn't have callouts or move any of us around when we were on stage.  There were 7 girls total in my division.  They announced top 3 and after that I'm not sure how I ended up in the line up.  But here's what I know, I don't care because I accomplished my goal.  I trained, I changed, I got on stage and I know where I want balance in my life.  I'm not the same person who started this journey and that's a great thing, because I think I'm a better person because of this. 

 Here's some photos from that night celebrating :)  I had a burger, fries, and nachos to celebrate!!!  Oh and some hella awesome cake from the cake elves Jessica and Ashley!  

Just look at the red velvet yummy cake!!!

My friend Adriana came in for the show!!!  Another friend
from college that I have no idea where I would be without
her and Jessica!!!

Nachos were more amazing than I remember!

Me and the hubby!!!  He's put up with my grumpy
no carb, lots of exercise self! 

It was a fun weekend and now I'm enjoying tasting some sweet treats and working on getting back into a routine.  I enjoy health and fitness, I enjoy how I feel when I am in shape.  I'm not sure where this road will lead, but I will share what I find a long the way!  38 weeks of training and now it's up to me to build new balance into my life.  It feels exciting to find new ways to make food, new workouts to create, share and enjoy and I get to choose, I get to pick.  It's energizing to think of!  I started this journey because when my dad passed away I realized how amazing life is, how much more there is to do and how I can't keep waiting for greatness but I have to decide to go after it myself and make it happen.  My dad's smile captivated everyone he met and you could see the magic of dreams and hardwork when he smiled at you.  I want those stories, I want that life and I want to someday be able to share it all with my dad.  Find what inspires you, or who inspires you and don't set out to be perfect, set out to do something!  Don't let small set backs keep you down, use them as experience and keep it going forward!  Who knows what my next challenge will be ;)  

Cheers and lots of love,

Ash

29 Days till show time!

Well blog world it's getting closer to the actual day!!!  I'm resting with my feet up right now (after a morning cardio and workout ;) and it's 29 days till show time.  Which means I only have 28 more workout days and 27 days until I am on a plane!  You can break that down even further and realize that I work out one muscle group a day each week so I only have 4 leg workouts, 4 shoulder workouts, 4 chest workouts, 5 back workouts, and 4 bicep/tricep workouts.  Crazy to think about that.  I only have 12 more workouts with my trainer too!  There have been good changes happening, my training has made my muscles harder, my abs are coming in (of course slower than I would like ;) and cardio is releasing toxins, and is helping me with weight loss (a total of 41 pounds gone!)  I can see the potential and the light at the end of this tunnel!  I had a breakdown for a moment thinking I wouldn't make it but once I got that over with and started thinking more positive it started to become clear to me that I will make it and it's going to feel great!

I've switched out oatmeal for brown rice and have switched one fish meal for flank steak and another meal of 4 egg whites and asparagus to my diet also.  I'm seeing good changes from it and I've mixed up my cardio a bit.  Mornings are 4 mile runs with a small circuit to finish (I usually run outside then pick 4 different moves and sprints and do that for 3-5 rounds)  my evening cardios are a choice between stairmaster, sprint/lunge walk treadmill, and another 4 mile run finishing with the arc trainer.  Cardios last 45 minutes.

For the most part I am just trucking along with training, work, staying positive, having some fun, resting, planning my trip and enjoy the changes that are happening along the way!  I'll post again soon!

Cheers,
Ash

Progress

Hello there blogger world!

Wondering where I've been?  Training, eating and sleeping with some work days in there too :)  Seriously, I've stepped up my training game and my body is sore and tired.  I've added some glutemine and BCAA's to my routine in order to help my body repair faster.  Basically it helps my body's natural amnios not get depleted when I'm working out so hard.  I'm going to be lifting heavy and doing plenty of cardio which takes it's toll on your body.  My trainer has suggested that when I can or want to I should get massages in order to help work out any soreness and lactic acid in my muscles and quite frankly I couldn't agree with her more ;)  Well here is a progress pic of me yesterday after a couple of meals (I get SO hungry I forget to take a picture before I fill my belly with goodness :)

My back and shoulders are starting to really take form
and my abs are leaning out also (see dat oblique up there
on the top right!) Woo Hoo!!!

I've seen a lot of plans that require very little cardio.  I don't know how that happens but for me, I actually like cardio (please don't tell my trainer ;) I do 7 days of morning cardio and 5 days double cardio.  I train (lift heavy things) with my trainer 2 times a week and 3 days on my own.  I took two back to back days this week with no lifting and just did morning cardio so my body could repair......and thank the good Lord that I did.  Because when I wake up in the morning I barely want to move because I'm so sore.  All good things though and I have to really take care of myself.  I make sure I stretch after cardio, always warm up correctly, hot baths for my muscles and plenty of sleep!  I am probably getting about 8-9 hours of sleep or more a day :)  It's my body's time to repair and I've got to stay on my water game as well making sure I get in my full gallon or more a day.

I wanted to make sure I posted my progress pics!  On Saturday I will be at 9 weeks till show time!  Pretty exciting and nerve racking since we are already in the month of August!  This is the month that my suit sample gets mailed to me to try on!!!  SO excited to finalize everything!  But till showtime it's time to do some work!  Just taking it one day, one cardio, one set, one rep at a time till I'm there!  

Have a fabulous day wherever you are and thanks for reading! 

Cheers,

Ash

A whole new kind of pain.....

When I think back on my life I know that I've experienced pain before.  I lost loved ones, I've had a fight with a friend, I've stubbed my toe and I've been sick, I've lived through disappointments, I've lived through feeling like I'm a disappointment, I've made it through these moments in life and I know there will be future pain, because that's the beauty of life.  You get a life full of amazing moments, and I have had a great life, because even through the bad I'm thankful for life.  I've taken on this new challenge and it's a new kind of pain.  I've just come home from a workout where my trainer said these exact words  "It is going to take EVERYTHING you've got".  Now she didn't just mean the workout we were doing, she means these next 9 weeks.  The intensity in her eyes tells me that there is no room for error and that she's as serious as can be.  Today's workout tells me she means business.  She's equal parts love/compassion and get your ass in gear haha

So this has got my brain turning and thinking.  I'll be honest my first thought was "I'm scared/I don't know if I can do this" I wanted to stop myself from thinking this but I'd rather think it, release it and never bring it to another workout again.  Today's workout she pushed me and my back and arms are in a new kind of pain!  9 weeks.  That's the time I've got left.  I can see my limits, I can see where I've pushed myself before, almost like an island where you can see where the sand fades into the ocean.  I understand how some people can see this journey as vain because I'm pushing myself to "look a certain way" or "be a certain size" because they think that's what makes me happy.  And really it's not about that.  Having a great physique will be an added bonus, but I want to know that I can do more than I thought, push further than I think I can and be more disciplined than I've ever been before.  Can I choose a goal and dig deep to get to where I want to go.  That's what this is all about.  I'm in the process of building a better me.  That's all I can think about right now because it will get progressively harder.

So workouts by myself will have to increase the intensity.  This word was used several times during today's workout.  Bring more intensity, have more intensity.  Don't go half ass and don't think that I have to be perfect.  But I have to keep the intensity up to the standards with a Coach Candice workout.  I should feel like I'm struggling by the last few reps and still push it through even if I need to take a break.   It's not about hitting a certain rep # any more or a certain weight.  It's about working my muscles till I think they can't go any further and then doing 5 more reps on top of that.  I know that today's post wasn't a workout or food post but there are a lot of things that happen when you do something new or you have a new goal.  I hope that through my journey and by writing this blog I can see the moments where fear holds me back and break through it.  Life is too short for me not to see what I'm made of.  So thanks for reading (mostly because this took a long time for me to have enough strength come back to my arms so I could finish this post haha......I'm not kidding about that!)  Tomorrow is a picture progress post!  I'll post more then!!!  Till then I've still got a double cardio session and hopefully some nap time too so my muscles can rest a little :)

Perfect for today and the next 71 days :)

Cheers!
Ash

Dedication to the plan

Hello blog world!

As it gets closer and closer to the show date a million things are running through my head.  Practicing my walk/posing, buying my show shoes, travel plans, trying on my bikini next month, buying jewelry, getting my hair done, and the list goes on and on.  I'm taking care of things little by little and most of it is just stuff I have to wait for (I'm impatient sometimes.....  :)

But as much as I'm looking ahead to the finish, I also spent some time reflecting today.  I realized how much stronger I have been than I expected.  It's easy to think that I have my trainer and she's the one that has made everything happen but really that's not how its been.  Don't get me wrong my trainer is amazing and I wouldn't trade her for anything!  But she gave me the map, gave me the plan and everyday I made the choice to execute it.  I made it to the workouts, I chose to eat the right things, I divided up my weeks by muscle groups and I worked out by myself every day of the week but the one day with my trainer.  When I realize that everything I've built has been because of my effort, it feels amazing.  Sometimes we get into the grind of things and the day to day and before we know it we forget to reflect on where we started and take happiness in the journey so far.  It's been awesome, scary, intense, defeating at times and uplifting at times.  I've discovered more about myself from these challenges I've faced and I know I won't be the same person after this and it's all for the better.  And although it is about some of the physical changes but the real difference is sticking to a plan, being dedicated to something you can achieve with hard work and focus, and making a choice to do it everyday not just when you feel like it.

So how am I getting myself ready in these final weeks?   I've been focusing on meditation and taking some time to really slow down and focus my thoughts each day.  Block out the noise and really envision the end results from this journey.  I've been scouting other competitors and learning from youtube videos and such on ways to pose, what is expected from stage presence and outfits.  And I start my double cardio so I can kill this small layer of fat that is hiding some of my muscles!  Lean machine time!  :)

I just wanted to update on where my heads at, what I'm feeling while I sit only 10 weeks away from stage......can you believe this is the last double digit week!!!  Holy crap!!! :D  I'm excited and scared all at the same time!!!  Thanks for reading or following along and I'm sure I'll be focusing more of my nervous energy into the blog these upcoming weeks!

Cheers,
Ash

Heavy lifting, split workouts, and new diet

Hello blog world!!!

I've been busy putting in my gym time since my last post and doing new meal prep so I thought I would share!!!

WORKOUTS:
I am still awaiting my new cardio plans from my trainer, so for right now I am sticking to the previous cardio I have been doing.  6 days a week right now.  The only change that has happened is that I am doing fasted cardio now, so no eating before my sweat session!  My cardio is still 45 min long sessions. I do a lot more high intensity/low intensity phases to my cardio and I've been wearing my heart rate monitor too.

After my cardio I eat two meals before my second workout.  During my second workout my only focus is lifting, and lifting heavy.  I should only be able to get 8-10 reps done with the right amount of weight.  I'm focusing on shoulders at least two times a week, legs once a week with Coach Candice, abs at least 3 times a week, bicep/triceps once a week, back at least twice a week.  Sometimes I super-set my lifting depending on how I feel.  Either I will do two lifts back to back or put in a plyo of some sort in between sets (mountain climbers, an ab workout, burpees) which helps get my heart rate up in between my sets.

**eventually I will be doing two a day cardio sessions with my trainer and I will do the second one after training and eating the next two meals, or later in the day if my schedule needs it.


WORKOUT and MEALS

CARDIO

* 5 egg whites, 1/2 cup oatmeal with 1 tsp maca root powder, cinnamon/stevia and one tbl. nibs
* 30g protein powder (I use BSN whipped vanilla flavor), acai berry puree packet unsweetened, 1/2 cup raspberries, stevia and 1 tbl. unsweetened cocoa powder

LIFTING

* 4oz. Tuna, 1/2 cup celery, mustard and 2 plain rice cakes (I know it's weird but I seriously really like the rice cakes :)
*  4 oz.  chicken and 1 cup of broccoli

**When the time comes this will be my second cardio time or later in the day.  I'm thinking these sessions won't be as high intensity but will be longer (maybe 55 min-60 min) and I'll probably use my heart rate monitor in order to keep myself in the "fat burning" zone.  But that's just my best guess, I'll see what kind of torture, I mean cardio Coach Candice has in store for me :)


*  30g protein powder (I use BSN fresh cinnamon roll), ground chia seeds, 1 tbl. nibs
*  4 oz Orange Roughy fish (when I looked this fish up I was scared!!!  It's one crazy ass looking fish, but guess what.....it taste amazing!!!) and 3/4 cup green beans


No more cheat meals or extra anything, just this diet.  And if it needs to change based on how my body is doing then we can adjust from there.  My trainer warned me that I will start feeling hungry throughout the day.  My body is used to having more fats in my diet and taking them out will make me a little hungry.  But that's the point, if my proteins are leaner and my carbs are timed with my workouts so that they are absorbed and burned for fuel and I keep going through all 6 of my meals I should be well on my way to building the body I want!


Once I get my cardio list updated I will detail what I'm doing and how it's going.  I'll also post a pic this week of my progress!  Take care wherever you are and thanks for reading!!!

Cheers,
Ash

Happy Birthday, Happy Cheat Meal, Happy Day!

Hello blog world!

Yesterday was my last cheat meal and we had good friends with us to celebrate my husband's birthday and really enjoyed a brunch at a new spot that is amazing!!!  Here was my fabulous meal of choice:

Green chili, jalapeño bacon cheeseburger and sweet potato fries!! 

We lived in New Mexico for a few years and I was missing the New Mexican food flavor!!!  We found a bistro where the owner was from New Mexico and used Hatch chilies in some of his dishes!  So it was an amazing choice as a last meal to get me through this 11 weeks!  Well that and the cold stone ice cream I had afterwards too :)  I def made it count that's for sure!!!!  Again it's time to get down to business and wake up everyday to get my cardio in, get my heavy lifting in and enjoy my brown rice meal afterwards!  The only concern now for me is building up my shoulder muscles so I can get a good shape.  When we up the cardio in September I will of course lean out.

Here is my most recent progress pic:

Top row is current and bottom row is my day 1 start to this journey!  I'll post weekly pictures leading up to my contest day!!!

Thanks for reading and following my process!  I'm ready for this 11 week count down!  Here we go!!!

Cheers,

Ash

Saying goodbye to my dear friend, the cheat meal.

Hello blogger world!

Well you know what it's finally happened.  My cheat meals will be going bye bye.  I'm 11 weeks out from my first ever competition.  I'll be honest, I have fully enjoyed my cheat meal each week.  I get dressed up, do my make-up, have a date night with my husband and I've eaten some gourmet burgers and fries, gourmet pizza, fabulous steaks, some mac and cheese sides, some 4th of July cook outs, banana honey peanut butter wraps, and ice cream, cookies and the occasional candy for dessert.  (of course not all at once people, this is several weeks of cheat meals....but they were all good! :)  So it's 11 weeks out and Sunday will be my last cheat meal and my trainer said to make it a good one!  It's my husband's birthday this Sunday so I am glad I can enjoy some good food and celebrate with him!

Now I'll be honest about what went through my mind when she said this was my final cheat meal- "I don't know if I can do this" "What am I going to do" "I won't be able to go out and be social very much" These are all the first thoughts that came to my mind, they aren't positive and they aren't useful.  I mean you would have thought she was telling me I wouldn't be able to eat for 11 weeks!  It's not like I'm going without food, or that my body won't have enough nutrients.  I definitely have enough food in my diet plan and it's good food too.  And so here were my second thoughts "It's only 11 weeks" "That food will always be there" "Thank goodness I like my meal plan" "Thank goodness I have my husband to help me stay strong" "I can't wait to enjoy this last cheat meal!"  All positive thoughts, all realistic thoughts.  Can you imagine that some of the world is struggling to have food and my first thought is "oh no, I won't get to have ice cream!" Once I put my crazy in check I realized that I can do this.  It's nice when you can really recognize what control foods can have over your goals, then you know how to overcome them.

So I'll be enjoying my cheat meal come Sunday and I'll be enjoying the changes that happen from feeding my body consistent goodness long after that!  So here's to another 11 weeks and all the positive new changes to come!  (I can't really "cheers" with a drink so I will raise my gallon of water and my green tea to this!)

Cheers!
Ash

Small changes this month to give big results

Hello blog world!

FOOD CHANGES:

So I've been having a pretty steady diet so far mostly staying the same for the last two months.  This month my trainer has added some items to my diet in order to keep things from getting boring and also for specific use.

I've added avocado to my diet in my key lime pie shake (seriously this thing is delicious!!! ) I make my shakes more like a pudding because I like to eat it with a spoon :) Here's the recipe!

1 lime zest and then juice of lime
1/2 an avocado
2 small handfuls of UNSWEETNED coconut flakes
1 stevia
add water to desired consistency and blend!

The avocado has added a little more healthy fats in my diet and also I just freakin' love this shake!

Just recently I've switched out the salmon for shrimp for two reasons:  1.  It's just economical.  Salmon is the most expensive and so I don't mind switching it out and buying some bags of frozen shrimp and 2.  It's to switch things up.   After awhile I'm thinking of switching to adding back in the salmon and replacing the Tilapia meal for the shrimp because Tilapia is also a fatty type of fish and I think when I switch them out I will see some changes.

WORKOUT CHANGES:

Lifting heavy.  I'm talking heavier than I've lifted before.  I've gone from lifting moderate weight and doing 12-15 reps to adding about 10-15 lbs to each set (depending on what my body can handle) and doing 8-10 reps.  If I can do any reps past 10 then I need to go up a little in weight.  It doesn't take a lot of different moves for me to start feeling it!  I haven't really been sore too much during the journey unless I'm working out with Candice but this weeks workouts have left me pretty sore in each muscle group.  Which is awesome!  I've got to BUILD up my shoulders, and glutes so I can create the right body shape that I want.  My core will lean out and then I'll be left with a muscular hour glass type of shape.

For cardio Candice added in another day of cardio for 55 min at a steady heart rate pace of 140.  I watch netflix or hulu a show during this time because it's pretty boring but I put the incline at about 10 or 12 and increase the speed to about 3.0 or above until I hit 140 on my heart rate monitor.  Also I'm doing more interval workouts.  My cyber arc workout changed a little.  I do a variation of high and low intensity.  1 min high, 1 min low, 2 min high, 2 min low, 3 min high, 3 min low and then back to 1 min high 1 min low and so on until I hit 20 minutes then I keep it at the lower level but keep the intensity pretty steady for 15 min.  Just this little bit of change coupled with some of my sprinting session will help bring out the muscularity in my legs.

I'm also timing my workouts.  I've gone from working a full time (no weekends off- what!) job to a part time job and applying for grad school!  (yay!) so I have more time to plan my workouts throughout the day.  I wake up and do my cardio in the morning after eating my grapefruit.  And then I plan my lifting later in the day and eat my meal with brown rice after.  I'm interested to see how this timing changes my ability to build more muscle.  I'll keep you posted!

I've still got 12 weeks (11 weeks on Saturday) left of my training.  So what does my future hold?  I will be letting go of cheat meals soon....NOOOOO!!!!! :(  But I gotta do what I gotta do!  I'll be adding in a light fat burner (I forgot the name of it) but it has a little caffeine to help with fat loss and when September hits I'll be upping my cardio to some two a days.  Once you build up muscle you've got to shrink down the little amount of fat about it so I'm constantly building, and shrinking everyday!  It's tough sometimes.  Do I have cravings- hell yes.  Do I want junk food- hell yes.  Do I love sweets- hell yes.  Do I want to join in and have ice cream- hell yes.  Do I want chocolate when I have a crappy day- hell yes.  BUT I know that after this competition I want to take care of my body, I know that those foods will always be there so why not go for my goal and enjoy those treats (in moderation) later?  Why not take care of myself and prove that I can do this.  I'm pretty excited for this last stretch in my journey before I step on stage.  I mean it's not like I've got my bikini being delivered in August for my first fitting or anything right (just kidding, because I totally do!!! yikes I'm excited! :D)

Take care!

Cheers,
Ash

What's been up with me? Just balancing life!

Hello my little bloggy blog!!

It's been oh so long since I've written on this little blog but I've been a busy lady!  I had a trip to go visit my mom and family, I'm in the middle of applying to go back to school again, I'm quitting my job and switching to a part time job (yay for holidays and weekends off!), I've had family in town for a short time and I've had my head down grinding through workouts and meals!

While traveling and having family in town I had to resort to eating out at restaurants.  The first thing I notice when going to eat out is that it's sometimes difficult to find restaurants that offer even healthy options.  But thankfully each restaurant I ate at had a salmon option which is on my meal plan.  I looked for brown rice and veggies as side options and substituted so I could get healthy side options. The first thing I noticed about eating out was that even the healthy options have a lot of seasoning and sodium on them.  Personally I feel that the best option is not to eat out but there are times when traveling with food or entertaining guests doesn't make it easy.  I haven't seen any negative changes to my body because of eating out but I am not interested in continuing to eat out.  I enjoy making my meals and being able to use spices in a healthy way to make my food.  Mrs. Dash is the most amazing thing pretty much ever!  The last thing to keep in mind- restaurants over do the serving size.  Even with the brown rice I got well over the 1/2 cup portion I usually eat so I just eyeballed the right amount to eat and leave the rest.  Don't think that just because it's on your plate it's fair game or the right about to eat because they are really generous with portions.

There has been some hard moments keeping up with life, traveling, laundry, dishes, cooking, work, trying to start my application process for school and my workouts.  I'm trying to keep my food fresh, and interesting, I'm enjoying my cheat meals, getting enough sleep and planning my workouts.  I think in August I'll bump my workouts up to two times a week with my trainer and I believe she has plans for me to start doubling up or changing my cardio come September.  I am glad that I am transitioning to a part time job.  The stress of having to keep up with it all and not having a schedule that allows me much time to spend with my family was getting too much and I'm ready to continue my life in the direction I want even if it takes some time to get there.

I hope that everything is going well for everyone and that when balancing it all gets tough that you still do the things that take care of you.  I've had my breakdown moments where I think I can't do it all and I'm wanting too much to happen right now.  I've just got to learn to be patient and keep on going!

Cheers,
Ash

Doing workouts, even if you don't want to!

Hello!

I know we all have those day when we are more whiney than usual (or is that just me;) and sometimes during my workouts my inner thoughts just say "ugh.....I wish this was over...." but I don't quit and I do my workout all the way through.  I don't skip my workouts and by halfway through it I'm feeling much better and more positive!  The hardest thing is to realize is that those negative thoughts can have an affect on your workout so spend your time releasing them and then get to building the positive things.

Here are a few tips on how I try and work through my workouts when I'm not feeling it:

• I "break down" my workout- Instead of looking at the whole picture, at times when I start adding up ALL the things I feel I have to do for my workout it can feel overwhelming.  So I look at my day in sections.  When I'm doing cardio all I focus on is cardio, I don't worry about the lifting I have to do afterwards just the cardio.  Once I get 15 min into my cardio session my mood instantly picks up!  
• I imagine my decisions one at a time building up to my ultimate goal and even though I might be dreading my workout at the moment but the fact that I made the choice to get to the gym shows my dedication and gets me one step closer
• I try and connect my mind and my body in each moment.  It's easy to start thinking of what you have to do at work, the errands you have to run, or the worries of your day but push all that away.  Spend your time focusing on yourself and what the task at hand is.  It isn't just about picking things up and putting them down, it's about the quality of lifting, the form you are using and the focus on the muscle you are training.  When I focus in on those things I find that all the worries of my life fade away and I'm in the moment.
• I superset my lifts.  By doing two lifting moves back to back I can save some time while exhausting a muscle group.  This can really help wear down my muscles and get my muscles all pumped!  I always feel like my time is productive when I can walk out of the gym with my muscles tired and sore.  
• This might be a strange one but I do my workouts during the morning and I always look forward to breakfast (FAV meal of the day!!) so I save any shows I want to watch from hulu and enjoy them while I'm cooking breakfast!  Then I sit down with my water or tea, watch hulu and eat my pancakes in pure joy that I've finished my workout and can enjoy the rest of my day! 
• New music on my playlist, it gets me pumped and sets the intensity of the workout and can make me go into beast mode for my workout! 

Whatever works for you and however you can break it down to make it through your workout, just do it!  You will feel better afterwards which is how I feel once it's all done!  That's why I enjoy my workouts in the morning, because when I make my way into work I know I've already taken care of my workouts and when my work day is done I can come home and spend time with my family!  I hope that today you can turn worries and stress around and create positive things in your life, even if it takes more effort, because it's totally worth it!

Cheers,

Ash

Wed- Changed my schedule

Hello all!!!

Normally I train with my trainer on Wed but because my work schedule needed to be changed around I won't be training with coach until Friday bright and early!  So today I did cardio and shoulders!!!  (quickly becoming one of my favorite muscle groups!)  My day started early and I had to work late on Tuesday so I decided to do my cardio and my lifting tonight because I wanted to make sure I got more than 6 hours of sleep.  Very important part of training is to get enough rest for your body just normally but especially if you are adding more activities in your life too!  So here's what I spent my time doing at the gym:

Cardio
I did 45 min on the stair master   I didn't pick a program or anything I just did a manual setting and increased the level every few minutes and then I would drop it back down for a few minutes and build back up.  The stair master is one cardio machine that can really make me sweat!

Shoulders
I couldn't find the dumbbells I wanted so I had to go up in weight so I dropped the amount of reps down. for this move:
Standing overhead DB press:  17.5 dumbbells, 4 sets 12 reps each

Barbell upright rows:  40 lbs. 4 sets x 15 reps each

Dumbbell lateral raises combo with kickbacks (leaning forward just a little bit raising arms out to the side, then down and then pushing your arms straight back) you have to do each one for them to count as one.  4 sets 15 reps each 10 lb. DB

Front raises:  I keep the DB's up and down as if I'm holding candle sticks and raise them until my arms are parallel to the floor.  These are SUPERSET with the previous move (I do the DB lateral raises and kickbacks and then head straight into this move) 8 lb. DB 4 sets at 12 reps each

Lateral raises on machine- 30 lbs.  4 sets at 15 reps each  I LOVE this move!!!  I can really feel the burn in my shoulders and I swear I can feel them pumping up with each rep!  Make sure you aren't flexing your neck or delts too much and really focus on the shoulder.  Keep your posture too, it's easy to start dropping your shoulders forward.

And that's all I did!  Took me maybe an hour and a half for everything.  Lifting heavy and keeping myself moving from one move to the other allow me to build the shape I want without being glued to the gym all day!  I hope that you are doing well and got up and moving wherever you are in the world!!  Time for me to go catch some sleep before my early morning tomorrow!

Cheers and sweet fitness dreams!
Ash

Tuesday: Cardio, Chest and Ab day!

Hello all!

So I've just eaten my breakfast after getting back from the gym where I did my cardio, chest and ab exercises!!!  Total time the workout took me was an hour and a half.  I moved through the workout pretty efficiently too, I don't like to waste time at all!  Here's a small breakdown of my workout!

Cardio:
Treadmill- I go through each round starting at incline of 1 and then continue increasing the incline (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
2 min running at 5.5
2 min walking lunges at 1.6
1 min walking at 3.0
The last 6 minutes are broken down like this:  1 min at incline of 1 walking at 3.0 then 5 min at an incline of 1 running at 6.0
Then I wipe the sweat off my forehead and smile, and then drink a ton of water :)

Chest:
Superset:
Incline DB flyes- 12.5 lbs. dumbbells- 4 sets with 15 reps each set
Push-ups- 4 sets with 10 reps each

Incline DB chest press- 15 lbs. dumbbells- 4 sets with 15 reps each

Cable Flyes- 30 lbs on each side- 4 sets with 12 reps each set

Alternating medicine ball push-ups- 3 sets at 10 reps each set (20 total because of switching from one hand to the other)

Abs:
Spider-Man on Buso ball (put the buso ball with the ball side down, position yourself in a push up position holding the buso ball.  Alternate bringing knee to elbow on each side) 4 sets- 15 reps

Leg lifts (laying down on your back, lift legs up and keeping feet flexed and hands under hips.  Push heels up and then lower back down) 4 sets for 15 reps each

Toe touchers (keep legs up with feet flexed and reach hands towards feet aiming to touch your toes) 4 sets with 15 reps each

V-ups (laying on back with arms above head reach up and bring straight legs up too creating a V shape to your body.  These are really tough!) 4 sets of 10 reps


I know it's hard to explain each move and I hope I've done an okay job of it but I don't really have anyone to take pics of each move or record it since I work out solo!!!  It shouldn't take hours and hours of cardio and hours of lifting, when you keep your diet on point and the workouts focused then it all adds up to being awesome changes!  

Cheers and happy lifting!

Ash

It's a Leg day!!!

Hello all!!!


Today is Monday and you know what that means......Leg Day!!!  Today I did plenty of squats!

My friend and enemy, the squat rack!

So just a quick note about today's workout!  I did 4 sets on the smith machine squat rack today 15 reps per set.  The key to these is to set your feet a little more in front of you so you can sit back into the squat and you have to get LOW!  The lower the better because it will really build up your glutes and round up your backside.  I don't know a lot of weight on the bar, 40 lbs plus the bar weight.  It's just the getting low that really starts the muscle burn!  I also did Sumo squats combo with bench hop overs and finished my leg day off with single leg squats on a machine!  I don't like to waste time in the gym so the more I can combo or super set the better, the heavier the weight the better and I always do about 4-5 sets with 15 reps each per exercise.  

I hope everyone is having an awesome day no matter what you are doing!  And if it's a leg day enjoy it, because tomorrow you might just be a little sore ;)  

Cheers,

Ash

Forgive what's not perfect about yourself

Hello Hello!!!

I know I've been busy and haven't gotten a chance to post but guess what.....I'm back!  It keeps me motivated to share anything I've learned along the way, just in case it is interesting or helps someone else.  Here's what I've learned so far about life, you just never know where things will take you.

So today's post was a realization I had.  I've had a few slip up moments with ice cream (which I have shared about) and lately I have been eating peanut butter and cocoa nibs like they are going out of style!  My body hasn't had too much of a negative impact from these slip ups or PB habits.  But the point is just because I don't see any negative impact doesn't mean I shouldn't break these habits.  I think to myself "what would my body look like today if I hadn't had 2 more tablespoons of PB (minimum!) a few days ago?"  What motivates me is I don't want to think about "what if" with this journey.  I want to know I laid it all out, did every step I needed to in order to reach my goal.

This led me to another thought.  I have a habit of not forgiving myself for the times I fall short or "fail" in life.  Whether it's big or small I let it all add up and I keep a tally.  Well when I had that ice cream or the PB I had a thought.  "Well I guess this is as good as I can get, maybe this is as far as my journey goes with this".  What a crazy negative thing to say to myself!  The silent conversations that I have with myself are sometimes the cruelest.  I can be negative, doubt myself and compare myself to others at times.  And when I thought of all the things I would need to do in order to come up "even" after the ice cream, PB and the time I spent off when I was sick, I felt overwhelmed.  It can seem like so much to do in order to feel like I've made up for all those short comings.  The truth is there is no need to pay back anything.  I don't need to go back in time to make up for those mistakes, however big or small.  These feelings used to derail me from goals all the time.  I would make some progress and then life would happen or I'd make a mistake and it all didn't seem worth it anymore because I was already so far behind anyways, there would be no way for me to catch up.  You know what's a refreshing feeling?  That moment when you tell yourself that you're just going to start doing the right things right now and you don't have to make up for anything.  I released all the doubts I had and I took comfort in the fact that all I have to do is follow the plan.  There is a clear path of steps set out ahead of me for this goal and all I need to do is take it day by day and step by step.  I feel relieved to think that I can keep going on this journey, that my best is still in front of me and I can still get there.  I have to repeatedly let go and get past it but I'm aware of it now.  I'm aware of how it stopped my life before and how it led me down the same paths again and again.  I always wondered how I stayed in the same spot emotionally and physically and now I know.  I had tethered myself to all the mistakes I thought I was making.  But not anymore.

So the only encouragement I can give to others who are trying to put more discipline in their life or trying to change, is don't look back on the things you could of done or the things you didn't do.  Look at where you are right now because those are the moments that are going lead the change in your life.  Not the things that have already happened.  The more you can understand how you absorb or react to things in your life the more you have the power to set yourself down the right path because YOU will have the power to change yourself.

Hope this realization helps someone as much as it's helped myself.  The only weight I want to carry around is the ones I lift to give me muscles ;)  Wishing you happiness wherever you are!

Cheers,
Ash

Making things in "batches"

Hello!

A lot of my recipes seem like a lot to do but really I use my prep day to pre-make as many ingredients or meals as possible.  So for 4 hours worth of work and organization in the kitchen I can have a weeks worth of easy grab meals.....seems like a fair trade to me!

Here's an example of one of my meals!

Sweet Potato Pancakes:
1 scoop BSN Desserts Cinnamon Roll flavor
Cinnamon
1 packet of Stevia
1 tbl spoon of Sweet Cocoa Nibs
3 oz of sweet potatoes
2 egg whites

Here's what it looks like when I prep my mashed sweet potatoes:

Peeled, chopped and boiled about 5 sweet potatoes.  I don't know why but I like to hand mash the sweet potatoes instead of blending/mixing them.  I think it has to do with the fact that I don't want to clean the blender afterwards :)  But these have all been mashed.

I use these taller containers for the finished product.  Mostly because I don't really know what else I would use the tall containers for.  I store them in a row in the fridge so once I use all of one I just go right on to the next one!  Pretty simple! 

Here's the pancake in the process!  I've gotten a rhythm down on how I like to cook them.  I make them smaller than shown here and I do several at a time in one pan.  I use PAM butter non-stick spray to keep them from being a mess.  I make them smaller just because they are easy to pick up and enjoy and it feels like I have more haha

So this is just a tip on how I can have something healthy every day since I do some of the work ahead of time!  Whether it's cooking batches of my proteins and veggies or prepping part of my ingredients I've learned that eating healthy doesn't have to take ALL your time, it just takes using your time the right way! 

Hope this is a helpful example!  I'll be posting a little bit more later today/tonight!!!  Have a fabulously wonderful day! 

Cheers!

Ash

Keeping up with it all.

Hello all!

I am 18 weeks out from my show and I've had some pretty busy weeks recently!  We had family visiting for this last week and I had a few days off for their visit BUT I ended up getting sick :(  I had a terrible sore throat that eventually made its way into chest congestion and a cough.  Doing cardio was impossible, I let my coach know about being sick and we rescheduled in order to make sure I was feeling better.  We did some shopping with family, we took them out to eat (which I did not par take in unless it was a "cheat meal") and enjoyed seeing them!

My workouts were very different this past week.  I did only 2 cardio workouts and lifted only 2 times as well.  My body was worn out from the coughing and while I tried to have the "get up and go" it really wasn't happening.  On Friday I had my training session with my coach and it went well!  I  might have been only running at about 70% but I worked out every single bit of it!  My first workout to get back on track with my normal routine was today, Monday!  I made it through my entire cardio and lifted legs today!  I was impressed with some muscle definition that I saw during my workout!  Especially in my legs!  Gives me motivation!

So I have two things weighing heavy on my chest:  I am developing a peanut butter love that I can NOT break!  It started with being able to have a spoonful of PB and cacao nibs in order to curb cravings but right now it is starting to just become a habit I HAVE to break!  I have about two more spoonfuls of PB than I should.  The other thing is I had a moment yesterday I am not proud of.  After the stress of company, being sick and my dad's birthday yesterday (he passed away in November), and not having the best start to my day, I indulged myself in ice cream.  And it's terrible.  I need to get back on the focus track, I know it's only minor set backs compared to all the time I've been on track but it's moments like this that I need to get mentally strong and able to handle the "tough" moments.  But I figured the first step is to admit that I'm struggling.  The next step is to make a plan and get to it!  My workout plans need to be on point as well as my diet!  If I find any certain plans that work better than others then I will share!  I have to keep away from my weaknesses (keep the PB out of sight!  I can't be around junk food or people eating junk or indulging) right now.  I've got 18 weeks to see what happens when I stay on course and stop using it as an excuse that I "have plenty of time" to get with the program.  Thoughts like that are going to lead to me being unprepared and on stage in front of everyone (which is what I don't want!!!!)  I've got to start approaching this challenge with the mind set that I should be aiming for first place rather than thinking that I'm a winner just by being on stage.  I know that will happen no matter what but if I'm not aiming for the top then what's the point!  So my friends, I'm struggling but it's not over.  This journey is only at the beginning.  So get ready because I'm getting my mind right and aiming for being the best!

Cheers!
Ash

Now tell me 5 more things.

Hello blog world!

Today I had a training session with Coach Candice and as usual glutes were on the menu along with hamstrings!  And as usual Coach Candice asks me how things are going, and I mention to her that I know I'm seeing changes but I'm being hard on myself.  Cheat meals make me feel guilty and when I do feel like I need to use the peanut butter and cacao nib snack that she suggested I feel guilty.  Immediately she asked me if I was still seeing changes?  The answer is yes.  She reminds me that there isn't anything to worry about then.  Then I get my next assignment.  This might sound really silly and other people who have done this journey might not struggle or focus on emotional training, but I am.  My life is different than it has ever been, I'm not the same person I was 5 months ago and when you change or grow in life different emotions surface.  Coach Candice brought something up that I thought really hit how I feel about life too, she said "when you allow negative thoughts in, whether you say them out loud or not, you hold on to them and you allow for negative energy to be attracted to your life"  How true that can be.

So here is how my assignment started out.  Coach Candice told me to start keeping a journal daily and each day I will write down 5 things that I love about myself.  Does that sound simple??  Well, it's not.  She on the spot asked me to say out loud 5 things that I like about myself.  Let me explain how my personality naturally works.  I can find things I might want to say but there is always that second thought that comes in and takes away all the positivity.  Here's an example:  What I say out loud:  "I like my abs" What I say in my head "but they aren't really where I want them to be yet".  I do this for EVERY SINGLE THING I could think about myself.  I dreaded finding those 5 things more than the workout today.  Once I found 5 things, Coach Candice asked for 5 more things.  Whether it was a small thing, something from my training or just about myself it still took me a long time to find 5 things.  Then once I said them out loud, Coach Candice asked for 5 more things.  This isn't easy for me.  I can easily tell you all the things I need to get better at or improve on, but ask me to tell you my favorite things about who I am and I find all the reasons why they don't really matter.  The fact is they do matter.  This is where training myself mentally will carry me the rest of the way through this journey, through all 19 weeks I have left.  Each day I write down 5 things I love about myself on one page, on the next page I write down the follow up comment I hear in my head or also known as the "yeah, but..." comments.  The follow up comment does nothing but take away the positive of the first statement.  Eventually the follow up statements will fade and all I'll have left is the positive statement.  All I'll see is the positive statement and all I'll feel is the positive things about myself.  But for now it's about working through the negative, letting out emotions that I feel and not feeling any guilt for doing so.

The other thing I will be doing each day is writing an affirmation that Coach Candice gave me to write in my journal:
"I love and approve of myself exactly as I am, I am enough.  It is safe for me to feel my feelings.  I am strong capable and creating my life the way I want it."

I've got to start seeing things I enjoy about myself and not hold all my value in other people's opinions about myself.  That was another realization I had during training, a lot of things that came to my mind were what other people value in me.  But it's about me seeing those qualities in myself and on my own. So as I start journaling I will share how it goes and I'll maybe share some things I'm finding out about myself along the way. I hope that by sharing some of the mental struggles I'm having that maybe it will help someone else.  This journey is about transforming the physical side of me but the emotional side needs my attention too in order for me to be successful.

Tomorrow I will update on my weekly pictures and talk about the cleanse I'm doing, how I'm doing with a little bit of cardio change along the way also!  I'll start to incorporate more "workout" material into the blog as well as good food and recipe items I find!  I might not be able to eat them now but that doesn't mean that I can't start getting creative in the kitchen after this challenge!  ;)

Stay positive and have an amazing day!

Cheers,
Ash

11 weeks down and 21 weeks to go!!!

Hello hello!!!

It's week 11 of this journey and I've got 21 weeks to go till show time!  I'm putting in the hard work, seeing some changes that I've never known before which is fun and scary at the same time.  I'm usually the kind of person who likes being in charge :)  so this is different!  I've been prepping meals weekly and just adjusting my life to fit this new lifestyle and I love it.  My whole life is different now, I wake up early enough to get a lot of stuff done rather than just make it to work, I have more energy to keep things clean and tidy at the house a lot more regularly than I used to, I'm able to physically do more than before.  So this hasn't just been a change for my body but for my life.

When I met with my trainer today for our session we talked about the moments when I have stronger cravings and she gave me a little recipe of peanut butter and cocoa nibs to satisfy my chocolate craving and since the start of this journey I've come to really love peanut butter!  (which if you think about it, is a healthy alternative to the Reese's peanut butter cups that I so love!)

So without further ado here's the progress pics for this week!  I've put them side by side with my day 1 photo!

There's also some progress pics of my back and arms too.  My back actually is more defined but it is SO hard to get a good pic of my back and I haven't worked up the courage to ask someone to help just yet.  Seems like a strange request to ask of someone haha.  But someday I'll get a better picture!  

The only other thing is that I've just naturally started to crave more water so I've been able to drink more than my normal gallon of water.  Usually an extra 32-64 oz.  Which is good!  

I'm hoping everyone is having an awesome day today!  I've got to get ready for work!  I've got my cheat meal coming up on Saturday and I'm thinking..........Thai food!!!!!  There's this bomb Thai place that I've been wanting to try since we moved here and finally this Saturday, it will get in my belly!!! YAY!!!! Just a little excited :)  

Cheers!

Ash

What has changed so far?

Hello all!

Along the process of this journey I haven't weighed myself.  I used to weigh myself maybe 3 times a day before!  But since we moved I haven't found my scale (which I think is a sign) and I started this journey, I started seeing changes and I didn't want to tie it down to a number.  I wanted my body to be my measure of progress.  So I thought this blog I'd go into what has changed for me so far and where I'm seeing progress and how I know that I'm progressing.  Other than the pictures I take which show me a lot of areas that have changed, here are more areas or items that have me happy so far:

• Jean Size-  I was squeezing into a size 10 (probably sadly on my way to a 12) before I started this journey and I've had to go jean shopping and I'm currently wearing a size 4 or 6 depending on the brand.  
• Midsection- This was the first place I started to really notice the weight loss the first couple of weeks.  My waistline has slimmed down and I can see what I can only guess is the beginning of abs (because I've never seen my abs before!).  The changes are starting to be smaller each day but they are there!  
• Glutes/Backside-  My glutes/butt is starting to lift where it's supposed to and after all the squats, lunges and presses I am so happy!  I still have a ways to go with this muscle group but I'm finally starting to see the changes I've been waiting for!  I know it's going to take a lot of work to build and tighten the muscles and the diet will drop some of the weight still there.  
• Legs-  My quads and legs are starting to develop shape and I'm noticing this is the next muscle group that's going to benefit from my diet being consistent.  Even my trainer mentioned that my legs were progressing!  (That really felt good to hear!  Even though I couldn't respond because I was in the middle of a set :)
• Shoulders/Back-  Now this muscle group is my lead pony right now!  I went to scratch my shoulder the other day and almost shocked myself, it's so weird to be able to feel hard muscles and know it's my body!  One of the people I work with the other day complimented me on my arms so it's nice to know I'm not the only one seeing progress!  But on a daily basis my back and shoulders are changing.
• Cardio Improvements-  Today I did my outdoor cardio workout which included sprints, bleachers and a mile run.  My mile run was at a faster pace than I was expecting and it really had my whole body working.  I could feel the burn and my whole body working (even my abs!) and even though I did have the thought of "I wish I could stop/walk" I knew that was just a thought.  The truth is I knew I was capable of pushing myself to that level and able to make it the entire distance.
• Metabolism-  I've mentioned that I'm feeling hungrier than usual and do not get me wrong!  I am NOT starving.  My meals are the size to nourish my body and keep my body constantly working to burn the food into fuel.  I don't ever really have that FULL feeling though, I'm never in pain from being so full.  Except on my cheat meals which are awesome and doing their job!  Which is to make my body have to work harder to burn through the food I ate (which is of course a higher calorie meal than I'm used to) and then the next day I drop back down to my regular meal plan but my body is still burning at a higher rate to digest the meal and I drop my caloric intake down. So there is a gap developed between what my body is burning from the cheat meal and what calories I'm supplying it.  Which is a good thing for not only my body but my mind as well!!!  :)

So even though I don't have a number attached to anything that doesn't mean that there aren't changes every day.  I'm proud of my progress both emotionally and physically so far and I'm only excited about the next steps!  I'm already in the development stage of designing my bikini!  I've already picked the dress I want to wear on stage and the last thing is to find somewhere local to create my themewear outfit!!!  Lot's of decisions to make and it all makes me feel like this journey is coming together!  I don't want to give away too many details but I'll share as much as possible along the way!  Thanks for reading and I look forward to more progress!

p.s. here's the color of my suit as a little bonus!!  It's purple and sparkly and I love it!

Cheers,

Ash

Updates on my training life!

Hello!

Well last week I wasn't as motivated as I have been since I started.  I did all my workouts I just wasn't in the mood to do my workouts.  But since then I've picked up the intensity of my workouts, continued my meals as planned.  I had one moment of weakness last week and although I'm embarrassed and a little ashamed to share about it, I will.  I had a hard week and I had been busy at work all day and gotten home late in the evening.  My husband was pulling an overnight at work and I had eaten my last meal and was still hungry and stressed.  And there it was in the fridge.....that Reese's Peanut Butter blast ice cream (yes it taste as good as it sounds) that I had eaten a little of last week for part of my cheat dessert.  And I grabbed a spoon and ate a few bites of it, right out of the carton......after I had several spoonfuls I threw the container away with the remaining ice cream.  The next evening I told my husband about it and that I was upset with myself and disappointed.  His reaction was hilarious, he said "thank goodness you're normal!"  I've been able to say no to SO many things that I guess it was starting to worry my husband.  I've been eating so well but my metabolism has gotten so high that it has started to make me hungry within 1-2 hours after I eat a meal.  I hadn't gotten used to this feeling and I started to stress myself out about it and I had a moment of weakness.  I used to be an emotional eater, stress would hit and I would want junk food or a sugar snack to make my worries feel better.  But now I don't have that sugary security blanket.  Now I just need to deal with whatever emotions I'm having and forget about the eating to feel better part.  Here's the wrong way to deal with food- feeling that I'm ashamed and have failed at this process just because I had a moment of weakness.  I had to fight the feeling that I was a failure and had ruined my progress.  The truth is those feelings are all a lie.  I've gained a lot through this process, I never quit even when I wasn't feeling my best.  I did every workout when before I would have quit.  I ate every meal I was supposed to afterwards and I wrapped up that day and threw it away and put all the shame with it.  I am strong, capable and well on my way to being the best athlete I can be.  I missed updating with last weeks progress pictures because I felt terrible but I've been a lean mean clean eating and working out lady as usual so this week there will be updates!  Since the day with the ice cream I've realized something.  I am at a point where I'm not as strong as I used to be with will power, so no more junk in the house, or baking and I'm ignoring food commercials as much as possible.  I don't want to have anything trigger any cravings.  I just visualize the end of this journey and how many people have said they are proud of me and excited for me and I wanted to be real about my journey.  We all have moments of weakness, but you've got to pick yourself up and keep on going!!  I hope that this helps someone with their journey.

As far as training goes, I'm researching different moves to mix up my workouts and make sure I'm able to really work out my muscle groups.  I can't go easy on myself and if I am short on time that doesn't mean I go easy on myself.  I just Superset moves.  (I do a set and then another set back to back.  Like lateral raise set then shoulder press set).  My outdoor workout with sprints, bleachers and mile run has been good and a nice change of pace from the gym.  I keep those as my day off workouts.  I've been meeting with my trainer every week and next week I will have some cardio updates so I'll keep you posted on how scared and happy I am :)

Cheat meals:  I get a cheat meal each week now!!!!  I usually do them on Saturday and eat them whenever my schedule allows (lunch, breakfast, or dinner depending on my schedule)  Because of my weakness during last week I kept my cheat a little leaner.  I had sliced brisket, veggies, salad, sweet potato fries, and spinach dip.  Dessert was a banana tortilla peanut butter roll up.  I didn't want to have a cheesy pizza, or a big burger or anything too heavy but I wanted to enjoy myself also.  I think the brisket hit the right balance of something different and a treat.  I'm not sure what I'm wanting for next week really, I've thought about doing sushi or hibachi but I've got a few more days to think about it.

Thanks for reading this blog and I hope that whether it's the moments I shine or the moments I may fall short, that something I've gone through has helped someone!  Well, guess it's back to prepping food for me!!

Cheers!
Ash

Limitations, we all have them but we don't have to live within them

Hello!

So today's post is all about limitations.  I've been feeling them lately.  You all know how it is when you set out to do something new and the shine wears off and you soon realize, it's just work.  You can see past the glimmer and all you see ahead of you is a lot of work.  Well the truth is that's when most people quit.  When the tough starts showing through is when people go back to the way things used to be.  I'm realizing that about myself.  I've gone on this journey and I'm sitting at week 10 in the process and week 22 till show time and my motivation isn't as strong as it used to be.  Does that mean I'm not putting in the hours or the work?? NO!  All that means is that I realize I need to work harder at keeping my motivation going.  Just because I haven't seen the end of this journey doesn't mean it's not possible and doesn't mean I won't be there.  I continue to remind myself that it's getting tougher because its new territory, but it doesn't mean that I don't belong there.  I keep myself ready, prepped and rested to take on the challenges and I'll get there.  There are a lot of emotional things that can get in the way and keep you off the path too.  Most recently I had a few days that I was feeling off my A game.  I went to the gym, I lifted and did my cardio but my heart and mind were somewhere else.  I recently dealt with a negative comment that kind of had a way of affecting me for several days.  The thing is the comment was about me being selfish.  Which did hurt my feelings.  I make sure to focus on the relationships and friendships I have, I enjoy making other people feel special, and taking care of others.  But here's the hard thing about being a woman sometimes, when you decide that you want to do something and stick to your decision people can have a hard time adjusting.  People view the value of a woman in the giving of herself that she gives to her family, to others, to her husband and when that changes and she starts giving to herself too it can be hard to accept.  I wasn't sure to talk to my coach about how I was feeling and how my workouts this week were going, but I decided to.  The first thing she said was "Awesome!" which wasn't what I was expecting at all.  She told me, this is a normal thing to happen along the journey.  She said "You must be sticking to your decisions" which is funny she would say that because that is exactly what happened.  I had made a decision and was being pressured into changing my mind in order to appease others.  The old me would have done it in a heartbeat and that's how I became and stayed "the old me".  I've done diets and workouts before and I've always cracked under pressure to not be as committed.  With my personality I like to be a little different from the crowd but I don't like all the attention on me, I don't like to stand alone.  Everyone can see you and really judge you when you do something different enough to stand alone.  And right now I'm making decisions that make me stand out more.  This is also new territory for me.  I travel with a suitcase looking lunchbox, gallon of water and workout clothes, I have to say no all the time to people who offer me food or drinks, I eat out of tupperware all the time, and each one of these really doesn't seem like a big deal but put it all together and yeah, I seem a little different.  I'm uncomfortable with the focus on what I'm doing at times but I don't want it to hold me back.  I don't want to allow this to be a limitation on my progress and in the larger picture I don't want it to be a limitation on my life.  Being willing to be different means that you might have to deal with the opinions others have on what you're doing.  But here's the thing I had to realize about the situation, when I really looked at it I wasn't being selfish.  I was being vocal about what I wanted and I think that being a female who can express what she wants can be seen as a negative thing.  My ultimate goal is to be fit at the end of this journey of course!  But also to keep who I am true, because for the first time in a long time I really like myself.  I forgive myself for my faults, and I want to start embracing myself.  No more carrying around the guilt of all the things I could have done or should have done and no more comparing myself to others.  Sometimes the thing that has to change isn't everyone else, it's you.  I'm working on how I get motivated, how I deal with problems, how I view myself, and how I stick up for  myself.  I hope that wherever you are and whatever you're going through you can remember to change the things you only have control over and let everything else go!  Sorry for a ramble of a blog but there was a lot of thoughts rolling through my head today :)

Cheers!
Ash

Week 9 down and 23 more weeks to go!!

Hello all!

I had my training session today and rocked out legs and shoulders with my trainer!  My muscles are pretty tired but I still have work today so no resting!  At least I didn't have cardio!!!  I've decided on my suit color too!  (I'll post a picture of the swatch of fabric!  I'll keep the final design as a surprise! :)  Here is my progress pic for week 9!  I did a little more of a collage in order to see more muscle groups.  I had already eaten half of my protein pancakes before I realized I did not take pictures :)  Guess I was a little excited to eat!

The only editing I did was collage the pictures, there isn't any "filters" or change of lighting.  I wanted to start monitoring my shoulders, biceps and triceps as well as my ab changes!  I am still really excited about this journey and I have some milestones up ahead!  Friends are visiting, family will be here the end of May, our anniversary is in June and I'll soon be placing the order for my bikini, buying my dress and trying to get my theme wear ready.  Then in July I'm planning to start doing 2 days a week with my trainer and maybe in September I'll bump it up to 3!  Every time I think about my game plan I get so excited!  Here's to another week down!!!  Good changes are happening even if they are slow changes!  :)

Cheers,

Ash

Prep, sleep, eat, cardio, lift, drink water, work, repeat. How do I keep motivated through it all!

Hello!

I know that normally there is a lot to fit into a regular day.  Work, cleaning, cooking, spending time with family and then to add on the meal prep and gym time I have to do you can imagine that every moment I can set my self up to be successful will keep me consistent.  Consistency= changes.  If I change something just once it's not going to make a difference.  This journey is for the long haul so I have to make the same changes for the long haul.  It's really a lot to balance and being almost 9 weeks into this journey I wanted to share what is inspiring me and keeping me motivated during the "tough" times right now.  I'm sure that some motivations will change but these have been pretty consistent and I'll also talk about some tips I've been doing in order to keep me ready for everything from gym to work to food!

MOTIVATION:

• Um, that bikini I'm going to be in! Have you seen what competitors wear on stage?  The point is for judges to be able to see and judge the body so let's just say that they keep it classy, but it's going to show if you didn't put in ALL the effort!  Who wants to get to the finish line but not really have the body to show for it?  Not this girl!  I'm willing to follow whatever my coach says to get to my goal (and she only gives me healthy changes or advice, I'm not willing to go back on my morals or endanger my body for anything) but I'm also not willing to give in and have a cupcake just because!  
• The support of friends and family.  Because I'll be competing in my home state I have a lot of friends and family that are all willing to come out and support me that day!!!  I get excited just thinking that people who are the foundation to who I am and such influences in my life and would want to be there to hold posters and cheer me on!  What a moment it will be when I'm on stage and my name is announced and I hear them in the crowd!  That moment really does get me through that last set and that last rep!
• My husband.  I know it's a trend on post for me to thank my husband but there's a reason.  He's seen me through a lot of stages in my life.  I've known my husband since 8th grade and we've dated since our sophomore year of high school.  I've been lots of sizes and had lots of things change in my life and through it all he's been right there loving me.  But I've also made a lot of silly fitness choices before this journey started.  Just like we've all done, I've thrown away money and had gym memberships and didn't go, gone back and forth on what I eat.  So I understood why at the beginning of this journey my husband was encouraging but still a little cautious.  It took a while for him to believe my dedication, but now that he does it's amazing.  He's 100% on board and wants to help and support me in any way he can.  What more can I ask of my partner in life?
• My coach.   All week I put in the hard work and eat the right things and measure everything out because when I meet with with my trainer nothing makes me happier than for her to be impressed with my changes.  I show her my progress pics, we talk about life, work, how I feel, my meal plans, any challenges I'm having and I trust her feed back and the path we are on.  I've never gotten to this point on my own and I couldn't do it without her!  Even when I think I can't get 1 more rep out somehow she pushes me to get 5 more!  That's someone I trust with my progress and I'm happy to have on my team!  
• Following fit people.  I follow people I admire on instagram and facebook.  I like to read the info that they give out and I soak in all the information they have about prep, planning, workouts and nutrition.  Some are well known and others are also doing their first competition or their first few.  I see them sporting the body I want to have and I like knowing that I'm following the same steps they are to have that body one day!  I like to see them be "real" and show when they don't feel like going to the gym but they go anyways or that they enjoy normal food every now and again.  Seeing them have that success physically and still fight the same cravings or moods that I do is refreshing.  When I need a "pick me up" it's nice to see what fitness gems they've posted for me to find!  Here are some favorites:  Kelsey Byers, Erin David Davis, Nicole Wilkins, Erin Stern, Jamie Eason, Courtney Prather, Cecille Canary, Ashley Horner, and Rachel Nicole just to name a few! :)
• Feedback.  It takes a lot to make these changes in my life and it made me nervous at first to talk about or share them.  But through sharing this journey I've gotten some positive feedback from family, friends, co-workers and even strangers and it is all really motivating.  It's amazing the things we do in life and never really know who's paying attention to our actions until they remind us.  So for anyone that said I inspire them, first off- that's just awesome!  secondly- thank you for your encouragement to keep this journey up!  I always get a really cheesy grin when I read a positive feedback :D
• Love and life.  I've lost some important people in my life, most recently my father in November, and I think about them daily.  I think about what I'm giving myself that they can't have anymore, life.  I'm taking care of my body, I'm testing my limits and pushing through them and I'm doing it with their memory in mind.  From my grandparents I never met, to my grandfather and grandmother, my step father, and my mom's late husband, and my father they are all with me.  They all give me strength and I picture what they would be telling me right now if they could see me.  They always keep me going through anything and really living this life and giving it all I have for them is my goal.  

TIPS

• Prep!  It takes a lot of effort (and tupperware ;) to make sure my days off are spent in the kitchen and that I've done grocery shopping and weighed/measured all my food out.  But it keeps me on time to work and ready to go and stress free!  I can pack my lunch box each morning in less than 1 minute! 
• Organization!   I lay out my workout clothes for the next day ahead of time, I pack my evening workout bag and put it downstairs by the door so I don't forget it.  I keep an organization box in my car to keep my workout stuff (cardio plans, iphone band, headphones, locker lock and chargers) and my work badges all together.  If I move that stuff around too much I will end up with a lot of days I don't have my daily things I need to be set up for a good work day and gym day.  It's important that each item I use everyday have a "home" where I can find it.  On days I have to be at work by 8am I'm up by 4:30am and at the gym doing cardio by 5am.  I have to fit it all in and to fit it in consistently I enjoy getting up early to do my cardio.  I've done more by the time I get to work than most people do by lunch!  If I don't have to be to work till 11am or 1pm then I do both my cardio and lifting in the morning before breakfast. My week is mapped out for me so I know what muscle group I'm working on what day and what days include cardio.  Failing to plan is planning to fail.  
• Sleep.  Now that I'm on a more routine (even with retail hours) I sleep so much better and I try to get between 6-8 hours of sleep each night.  It's important for my body to rest and I wake up more eager to start my day when my body has had enough time to be at rest.  
• Find a way to cook food the way you like!  I could very easily use frozen packaged fish for my meals but I don't like it and in the long run it might cost a little more to go to Whole Foods butcher counter for my fish and ground bison but I like the freshness of the food and I'll keep up this plan long term if the quality of the meat is good!  I found my favorite Mrs. Dash seasonings I like, and marinades for my fish.  I go to other grocery stores to get my in bulk vegetables, egg whites, and spinach because the quality is good for these foods and the price is right too!  I'd rather save a little on my veggies and use my resources towards fresh meat.  But to each their own!  Once you find what you like stick withit until you need to mix it up again!  Now I have almost a rhythm to my prep cooking!  But find spices or seasonings that fit in with your goals (low sodium, carb or sugars...whatever your perimeters are) to add something new to your food!  Food doesn't have to be boring to be good! 

I find it good to pin point what keeps you going because when those tough moments happen or when you are questioning yourself, having those true North motivations will keep you on your path.  Whether it's people, a memory, or a future goal we all have something/someone driving us forward to move on.  I hope that maybe some of my tips/motivation helps and that you find your clear path and go fearlessly into it!  

Cheers,

Ash