Hello!
So today's post is all about limitations. I've been feeling them lately. You all know how it is when you set out to do something new and the shine wears off and you soon realize, it's just work. You can see past the glimmer and all you see ahead of you is a lot of work. Well the truth is that's when most people quit. When the tough starts showing through is when people go back to the way things used to be. I'm realizing that about myself. I've gone on this journey and I'm sitting at week 10 in the process and week 22 till show time and my motivation isn't as strong as it used to be. Does that mean I'm not putting in the hours or the work?? NO! All that means is that I realize I need to work harder at keeping my motivation going. Just because I haven't seen the end of this journey doesn't mean it's not possible and doesn't mean I won't be there. I continue to remind myself that it's getting tougher because its new territory, but it doesn't mean that I don't belong there. I keep myself ready, prepped and rested to take on the challenges and I'll get there. There are a lot of emotional things that can get in the way and keep you off the path too. Most recently I had a few days that I was feeling off my A game. I went to the gym, I lifted and did my cardio but my heart and mind were somewhere else. I recently dealt with a negative comment that kind of had a way of affecting me for several days. The thing is the comment was about me being selfish. Which did hurt my feelings. I make sure to focus on the relationships and friendships I have, I enjoy making other people feel special, and taking care of others. But here's the hard thing about being a woman sometimes, when you decide that you want to do something and stick to your decision people can have a hard time adjusting. People view the value of a woman in the giving of herself that she gives to her family, to others, to her husband and when that changes and she starts giving to herself too it can be hard to accept. I wasn't sure to talk to my coach about how I was feeling and how my workouts this week were going, but I decided to. The first thing she said was "Awesome!" which wasn't what I was expecting at all. She told me, this is a normal thing to happen along the journey. She said "You must be sticking to your decisions" which is funny she would say that because that is exactly what happened. I had made a decision and was being pressured into changing my mind in order to appease others. The old me would have done it in a heartbeat and that's how I became and stayed "the old me". I've done diets and workouts before and I've always cracked under pressure to not be as committed. With my personality I like to be a little different from the crowd but I don't like all the attention on me, I don't like to stand alone. Everyone can see you and really judge you when you do something different enough to stand alone. And right now I'm making decisions that make me stand out more. This is also new territory for me. I travel with a suitcase looking lunchbox, gallon of water and workout clothes, I have to say no all the time to people who offer me food or drinks, I eat out of tupperware all the time, and each one of these really doesn't seem like a big deal but put it all together and yeah, I seem a little different. I'm uncomfortable with the focus on what I'm doing at times but I don't want it to hold me back. I don't want to allow this to be a limitation on my progress and in the larger picture I don't want it to be a limitation on my life. Being willing to be different means that you might have to deal with the opinions others have on what you're doing. But here's the thing I had to realize about the situation, when I really looked at it I wasn't being selfish. I was being vocal about what I wanted and I think that being a female who can express what she wants can be seen as a negative thing. My ultimate goal is to be fit at the end of this journey of course! But also to keep who I am true, because for the first time in a long time I really like myself. I forgive myself for my faults, and I want to start embracing myself. No more carrying around the guilt of all the things I could have done or should have done and no more comparing myself to others. Sometimes the thing that has to change isn't everyone else, it's you. I'm working on how I get motivated, how I deal with problems, how I view myself, and how I stick up for myself. I hope that wherever you are and whatever you're going through you can remember to change the things you only have control over and let everything else go! Sorry for a ramble of a blog but there was a lot of thoughts rolling through my head today :)
Cheers!
Ash
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