Hello Hello!!!
I know I've been busy and haven't gotten a chance to post but guess what.....I'm back! It keeps me motivated to share anything I've learned along the way, just in case it is interesting or helps someone else. Here's what I've learned so far about life, you just never know where things will take you.
So today's post was a realization I had. I've had a few slip up moments with ice cream (which I have shared about) and lately I have been eating peanut butter and cocoa nibs like they are going out of style! My body hasn't had too much of a negative impact from these slip ups or PB habits. But the point is just because I don't see any negative impact doesn't mean I shouldn't break these habits. I think to myself "what would my body look like today if I hadn't had 2 more tablespoons of PB (minimum!) a few days ago?" What motivates me is I don't want to think about "what if" with this journey. I want to know I laid it all out, did every step I needed to in order to reach my goal.
This led me to another thought. I have a habit of not forgiving myself for the times I fall short or "fail" in life. Whether it's big or small I let it all add up and I keep a tally. Well when I had that ice cream or the PB I had a thought. "Well I guess this is as good as I can get, maybe this is as far as my journey goes with this". What a crazy negative thing to say to myself! The silent conversations that I have with myself are sometimes the cruelest. I can be negative, doubt myself and compare myself to others at times. And when I thought of all the things I would need to do in order to come up "even" after the ice cream, PB and the time I spent off when I was sick, I felt overwhelmed. It can seem like so much to do in order to feel like I've made up for all those short comings. The truth is there is no need to pay back anything. I don't need to go back in time to make up for those mistakes, however big or small. These feelings used to derail me from goals all the time. I would make some progress and then life would happen or I'd make a mistake and it all didn't seem worth it anymore because I was already so far behind anyways, there would be no way for me to catch up. You know what's a refreshing feeling? That moment when you tell yourself that you're just going to start doing the right things right now and you don't have to make up for anything. I released all the doubts I had and I took comfort in the fact that all I have to do is follow the plan. There is a clear path of steps set out ahead of me for this goal and all I need to do is take it day by day and step by step. I feel relieved to think that I can keep going on this journey, that my best is still in front of me and I can still get there. I have to repeatedly let go and get past it but I'm aware of it now. I'm aware of how it stopped my life before and how it led me down the same paths again and again. I always wondered how I stayed in the same spot emotionally and physically and now I know. I had tethered myself to all the mistakes I thought I was making. But not anymore.
So the only encouragement I can give to others who are trying to put more discipline in their life or trying to change, is don't look back on the things you could of done or the things you didn't do. Look at where you are right now because those are the moments that are going lead the change in your life. Not the things that have already happened. The more you can understand how you absorb or react to things in your life the more you have the power to set yourself down the right path because YOU will have the power to change yourself.
Hope this realization helps someone as much as it's helped myself. The only weight I want to carry around is the ones I lift to give me muscles ;) Wishing you happiness wherever you are!
Cheers,
Ash
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Making things in "batches"
Hello!
A lot of my recipes seem like a lot to do but really I use my prep day to pre-make as many ingredients or meals as possible. So for 4 hours worth of work and organization in the kitchen I can have a weeks worth of easy grab meals.....seems like a fair trade to me!
Here's an example of one of my meals!
Sweet Potato Pancakes:
1 scoop BSN Desserts Cinnamon Roll flavor
Cinnamon
1 packet of Stevia
1 tbl spoon of Sweet Cocoa Nibs
3 oz of sweet potatoes
2 egg whites
Here's what it looks like when I prep my mashed sweet potatoes:
A lot of my recipes seem like a lot to do but really I use my prep day to pre-make as many ingredients or meals as possible. So for 4 hours worth of work and organization in the kitchen I can have a weeks worth of easy grab meals.....seems like a fair trade to me!
Here's an example of one of my meals!
Sweet Potato Pancakes:
1 scoop BSN Desserts Cinnamon Roll flavor
Cinnamon
1 packet of Stevia
1 tbl spoon of Sweet Cocoa Nibs
3 oz of sweet potatoes
2 egg whites
Here's what it looks like when I prep my mashed sweet potatoes:
Peeled, chopped and boiled about 5 sweet potatoes. I don't know why but I like to hand mash the sweet potatoes instead of blending/mixing them. I think it has to do with the fact that I don't want to clean the blender afterwards :) But these have all been mashed.
I use these taller containers for the finished product. Mostly because I don't really know what else I would use the tall containers for. I store them in a row in the fridge so once I use all of one I just go right on to the next one! Pretty simple!
Here's the pancake in the process! I've gotten a rhythm down on how I like to cook them. I make them smaller than shown here and I do several at a time in one pan. I use PAM butter non-stick spray to keep them from being a mess. I make them smaller just because they are easy to pick up and enjoy and it feels like I have more haha
So this is just a tip on how I can have something healthy every day since I do some of the work ahead of time! Whether it's cooking batches of my proteins and veggies or prepping part of my ingredients I've learned that eating healthy doesn't have to take ALL your time, it just takes using your time the right way!
Hope this is a helpful example! I'll be posting a little bit more later today/tonight!!! Have a fabulously wonderful day!
Cheers!
Ash
Monday, May 27, 2013
Keeping up with it all.
Hello all!
I am 18 weeks out from my show and I've had some pretty busy weeks recently! We had family visiting for this last week and I had a few days off for their visit BUT I ended up getting sick :( I had a terrible sore throat that eventually made its way into chest congestion and a cough. Doing cardio was impossible, I let my coach know about being sick and we rescheduled in order to make sure I was feeling better. We did some shopping with family, we took them out to eat (which I did not par take in unless it was a "cheat meal") and enjoyed seeing them!
My workouts were very different this past week. I did only 2 cardio workouts and lifted only 2 times as well. My body was worn out from the coughing and while I tried to have the "get up and go" it really wasn't happening. On Friday I had my training session with my coach and it went well! I might have been only running at about 70% but I worked out every single bit of it! My first workout to get back on track with my normal routine was today, Monday! I made it through my entire cardio and lifted legs today! I was impressed with some muscle definition that I saw during my workout! Especially in my legs! Gives me motivation!
So I have two things weighing heavy on my chest: I am developing a peanut butter love that I can NOT break! It started with being able to have a spoonful of PB and cacao nibs in order to curb cravings but right now it is starting to just become a habit I HAVE to break! I have about two more spoonfuls of PB than I should. The other thing is I had a moment yesterday I am not proud of. After the stress of company, being sick and my dad's birthday yesterday (he passed away in November), and not having the best start to my day, I indulged myself in ice cream. And it's terrible. I need to get back on the focus track, I know it's only minor set backs compared to all the time I've been on track but it's moments like this that I need to get mentally strong and able to handle the "tough" moments. But I figured the first step is to admit that I'm struggling. The next step is to make a plan and get to it! My workout plans need to be on point as well as my diet! If I find any certain plans that work better than others then I will share! I have to keep away from my weaknesses (keep the PB out of sight! I can't be around junk food or people eating junk or indulging) right now. I've got 18 weeks to see what happens when I stay on course and stop using it as an excuse that I "have plenty of time" to get with the program. Thoughts like that are going to lead to me being unprepared and on stage in front of everyone (which is what I don't want!!!!) I've got to start approaching this challenge with the mind set that I should be aiming for first place rather than thinking that I'm a winner just by being on stage. I know that will happen no matter what but if I'm not aiming for the top then what's the point! So my friends, I'm struggling but it's not over. This journey is only at the beginning. So get ready because I'm getting my mind right and aiming for being the best!
Cheers!
Ash
I am 18 weeks out from my show and I've had some pretty busy weeks recently! We had family visiting for this last week and I had a few days off for their visit BUT I ended up getting sick :( I had a terrible sore throat that eventually made its way into chest congestion and a cough. Doing cardio was impossible, I let my coach know about being sick and we rescheduled in order to make sure I was feeling better. We did some shopping with family, we took them out to eat (which I did not par take in unless it was a "cheat meal") and enjoyed seeing them!
My workouts were very different this past week. I did only 2 cardio workouts and lifted only 2 times as well. My body was worn out from the coughing and while I tried to have the "get up and go" it really wasn't happening. On Friday I had my training session with my coach and it went well! I might have been only running at about 70% but I worked out every single bit of it! My first workout to get back on track with my normal routine was today, Monday! I made it through my entire cardio and lifted legs today! I was impressed with some muscle definition that I saw during my workout! Especially in my legs! Gives me motivation!
So I have two things weighing heavy on my chest: I am developing a peanut butter love that I can NOT break! It started with being able to have a spoonful of PB and cacao nibs in order to curb cravings but right now it is starting to just become a habit I HAVE to break! I have about two more spoonfuls of PB than I should. The other thing is I had a moment yesterday I am not proud of. After the stress of company, being sick and my dad's birthday yesterday (he passed away in November), and not having the best start to my day, I indulged myself in ice cream. And it's terrible. I need to get back on the focus track, I know it's only minor set backs compared to all the time I've been on track but it's moments like this that I need to get mentally strong and able to handle the "tough" moments. But I figured the first step is to admit that I'm struggling. The next step is to make a plan and get to it! My workout plans need to be on point as well as my diet! If I find any certain plans that work better than others then I will share! I have to keep away from my weaknesses (keep the PB out of sight! I can't be around junk food or people eating junk or indulging) right now. I've got 18 weeks to see what happens when I stay on course and stop using it as an excuse that I "have plenty of time" to get with the program. Thoughts like that are going to lead to me being unprepared and on stage in front of everyone (which is what I don't want!!!!) I've got to start approaching this challenge with the mind set that I should be aiming for first place rather than thinking that I'm a winner just by being on stage. I know that will happen no matter what but if I'm not aiming for the top then what's the point! So my friends, I'm struggling but it's not over. This journey is only at the beginning. So get ready because I'm getting my mind right and aiming for being the best!
Cheers!
Ash
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Now tell me 5 more things.
Hello blog world!
Today I had a training session with Coach Candice and as usual glutes were on the menu along with hamstrings! And as usual Coach Candice asks me how things are going, and I mention to her that I know I'm seeing changes but I'm being hard on myself. Cheat meals make me feel guilty and when I do feel like I need to use the peanut butter and cacao nib snack that she suggested I feel guilty. Immediately she asked me if I was still seeing changes? The answer is yes. She reminds me that there isn't anything to worry about then. Then I get my next assignment. This might sound really silly and other people who have done this journey might not struggle or focus on emotional training, but I am. My life is different than it has ever been, I'm not the same person I was 5 months ago and when you change or grow in life different emotions surface. Coach Candice brought something up that I thought really hit how I feel about life too, she said "when you allow negative thoughts in, whether you say them out loud or not, you hold on to them and you allow for negative energy to be attracted to your life" How true that can be.
So here is how my assignment started out. Coach Candice told me to start keeping a journal daily and each day I will write down 5 things that I love about myself. Does that sound simple?? Well, it's not. She on the spot asked me to say out loud 5 things that I like about myself. Let me explain how my personality naturally works. I can find things I might want to say but there is always that second thought that comes in and takes away all the positivity. Here's an example: What I say out loud: "I like my abs" What I say in my head "but they aren't really where I want them to be yet". I do this for EVERY SINGLE THING I could think about myself. I dreaded finding those 5 things more than the workout today. Once I found 5 things, Coach Candice asked for 5 more things. Whether it was a small thing, something from my training or just about myself it still took me a long time to find 5 things. Then once I said them out loud, Coach Candice asked for 5 more things. This isn't easy for me. I can easily tell you all the things I need to get better at or improve on, but ask me to tell you my favorite things about who I am and I find all the reasons why they don't really matter. The fact is they do matter. This is where training myself mentally will carry me the rest of the way through this journey, through all 19 weeks I have left. Each day I write down 5 things I love about myself on one page, on the next page I write down the follow up comment I hear in my head or also known as the "yeah, but..." comments. The follow up comment does nothing but take away the positive of the first statement. Eventually the follow up statements will fade and all I'll have left is the positive statement. All I'll see is the positive statement and all I'll feel is the positive things about myself. But for now it's about working through the negative, letting out emotions that I feel and not feeling any guilt for doing so.
The other thing I will be doing each day is writing an affirmation that Coach Candice gave me to write in my journal:
"I love and approve of myself exactly as I am, I am enough. It is safe for me to feel my feelings. I am strong capable and creating my life the way I want it."
I've got to start seeing things I enjoy about myself and not hold all my value in other people's opinions about myself. That was another realization I had during training, a lot of things that came to my mind were what other people value in me. But it's about me seeing those qualities in myself and on my own. So as I start journaling I will share how it goes and I'll maybe share some things I'm finding out about myself along the way. I hope that by sharing some of the mental struggles I'm having that maybe it will help someone else. This journey is about transforming the physical side of me but the emotional side needs my attention too in order for me to be successful.
Tomorrow I will update on my weekly pictures and talk about the cleanse I'm doing, how I'm doing with a little bit of cardio change along the way also! I'll start to incorporate more "workout" material into the blog as well as good food and recipe items I find! I might not be able to eat them now but that doesn't mean that I can't start getting creative in the kitchen after this challenge! ;)
Stay positive and have an amazing day!
Cheers,
Ash
Today I had a training session with Coach Candice and as usual glutes were on the menu along with hamstrings! And as usual Coach Candice asks me how things are going, and I mention to her that I know I'm seeing changes but I'm being hard on myself. Cheat meals make me feel guilty and when I do feel like I need to use the peanut butter and cacao nib snack that she suggested I feel guilty. Immediately she asked me if I was still seeing changes? The answer is yes. She reminds me that there isn't anything to worry about then. Then I get my next assignment. This might sound really silly and other people who have done this journey might not struggle or focus on emotional training, but I am. My life is different than it has ever been, I'm not the same person I was 5 months ago and when you change or grow in life different emotions surface. Coach Candice brought something up that I thought really hit how I feel about life too, she said "when you allow negative thoughts in, whether you say them out loud or not, you hold on to them and you allow for negative energy to be attracted to your life" How true that can be.
So here is how my assignment started out. Coach Candice told me to start keeping a journal daily and each day I will write down 5 things that I love about myself. Does that sound simple?? Well, it's not. She on the spot asked me to say out loud 5 things that I like about myself. Let me explain how my personality naturally works. I can find things I might want to say but there is always that second thought that comes in and takes away all the positivity. Here's an example: What I say out loud: "I like my abs" What I say in my head "but they aren't really where I want them to be yet". I do this for EVERY SINGLE THING I could think about myself. I dreaded finding those 5 things more than the workout today. Once I found 5 things, Coach Candice asked for 5 more things. Whether it was a small thing, something from my training or just about myself it still took me a long time to find 5 things. Then once I said them out loud, Coach Candice asked for 5 more things. This isn't easy for me. I can easily tell you all the things I need to get better at or improve on, but ask me to tell you my favorite things about who I am and I find all the reasons why they don't really matter. The fact is they do matter. This is where training myself mentally will carry me the rest of the way through this journey, through all 19 weeks I have left. Each day I write down 5 things I love about myself on one page, on the next page I write down the follow up comment I hear in my head or also known as the "yeah, but..." comments. The follow up comment does nothing but take away the positive of the first statement. Eventually the follow up statements will fade and all I'll have left is the positive statement. All I'll see is the positive statement and all I'll feel is the positive things about myself. But for now it's about working through the negative, letting out emotions that I feel and not feeling any guilt for doing so.
The other thing I will be doing each day is writing an affirmation that Coach Candice gave me to write in my journal:
"I love and approve of myself exactly as I am, I am enough. It is safe for me to feel my feelings. I am strong capable and creating my life the way I want it."
I've got to start seeing things I enjoy about myself and not hold all my value in other people's opinions about myself. That was another realization I had during training, a lot of things that came to my mind were what other people value in me. But it's about me seeing those qualities in myself and on my own. So as I start journaling I will share how it goes and I'll maybe share some things I'm finding out about myself along the way. I hope that by sharing some of the mental struggles I'm having that maybe it will help someone else. This journey is about transforming the physical side of me but the emotional side needs my attention too in order for me to be successful.
Tomorrow I will update on my weekly pictures and talk about the cleanse I'm doing, how I'm doing with a little bit of cardio change along the way also! I'll start to incorporate more "workout" material into the blog as well as good food and recipe items I find! I might not be able to eat them now but that doesn't mean that I can't start getting creative in the kitchen after this challenge! ;)
Stay positive and have an amazing day!
Cheers,
Ash
Thursday, May 9, 2013
11 weeks down and 21 weeks to go!!!
Hello hello!!!
It's week 11 of this journey and I've got 21 weeks to go till show time! I'm putting in the hard work, seeing some changes that I've never known before which is fun and scary at the same time. I'm usually the kind of person who likes being in charge :) so this is different! I've been prepping meals weekly and just adjusting my life to fit this new lifestyle and I love it. My whole life is different now, I wake up early enough to get a lot of stuff done rather than just make it to work, I have more energy to keep things clean and tidy at the house a lot more regularly than I used to, I'm able to physically do more than before. So this hasn't just been a change for my body but for my life.
When I met with my trainer today for our session we talked about the moments when I have stronger cravings and she gave me a little recipe of peanut butter and cocoa nibs to satisfy my chocolate craving and since the start of this journey I've come to really love peanut butter! (which if you think about it, is a healthy alternative to the Reese's peanut butter cups that I so love!)
So without further ado here's the progress pics for this week! I've put them side by side with my day 1 photo!
It's week 11 of this journey and I've got 21 weeks to go till show time! I'm putting in the hard work, seeing some changes that I've never known before which is fun and scary at the same time. I'm usually the kind of person who likes being in charge :) so this is different! I've been prepping meals weekly and just adjusting my life to fit this new lifestyle and I love it. My whole life is different now, I wake up early enough to get a lot of stuff done rather than just make it to work, I have more energy to keep things clean and tidy at the house a lot more regularly than I used to, I'm able to physically do more than before. So this hasn't just been a change for my body but for my life.
When I met with my trainer today for our session we talked about the moments when I have stronger cravings and she gave me a little recipe of peanut butter and cocoa nibs to satisfy my chocolate craving and since the start of this journey I've come to really love peanut butter! (which if you think about it, is a healthy alternative to the Reese's peanut butter cups that I so love!)
So without further ado here's the progress pics for this week! I've put them side by side with my day 1 photo!
There's also some progress pics of my back and arms too. My back actually is more defined but it is SO hard to get a good pic of my back and I haven't worked up the courage to ask someone to help just yet. Seems like a strange request to ask of someone haha. But someday I'll get a better picture!
The only other thing is that I've just naturally started to crave more water so I've been able to drink more than my normal gallon of water. Usually an extra 32-64 oz. Which is good!
I'm hoping everyone is having an awesome day today! I've got to get ready for work! I've got my cheat meal coming up on Saturday and I'm thinking..........Thai food!!!!! There's this bomb Thai place that I've been wanting to try since we moved here and finally this Saturday, it will get in my belly!!! YAY!!!! Just a little excited :)
Cheers!
Ash
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
What has changed so far?
Hello all!
Along the process of this journey I haven't weighed myself. I used to weigh myself maybe 3 times a day before! But since we moved I haven't found my scale (which I think is a sign) and I started this journey, I started seeing changes and I didn't want to tie it down to a number. I wanted my body to be my measure of progress. So I thought this blog I'd go into what has changed for me so far and where I'm seeing progress and how I know that I'm progressing. Other than the pictures I take which show me a lot of areas that have changed, here are more areas or items that have me happy so far:
Along the process of this journey I haven't weighed myself. I used to weigh myself maybe 3 times a day before! But since we moved I haven't found my scale (which I think is a sign) and I started this journey, I started seeing changes and I didn't want to tie it down to a number. I wanted my body to be my measure of progress. So I thought this blog I'd go into what has changed for me so far and where I'm seeing progress and how I know that I'm progressing. Other than the pictures I take which show me a lot of areas that have changed, here are more areas or items that have me happy so far:
- Jean Size- I was squeezing into a size 10 (probably sadly on my way to a 12) before I started this journey and I've had to go jean shopping and I'm currently wearing a size 4 or 6 depending on the brand.
- Midsection- This was the first place I started to really notice the weight loss the first couple of weeks. My waistline has slimmed down and I can see what I can only guess is the beginning of abs (because I've never seen my abs before!). The changes are starting to be smaller each day but they are there!
- Glutes/Backside- My glutes/butt is starting to lift where it's supposed to and after all the squats, lunges and presses I am so happy! I still have a ways to go with this muscle group but I'm finally starting to see the changes I've been waiting for! I know it's going to take a lot of work to build and tighten the muscles and the diet will drop some of the weight still there.
- Legs- My quads and legs are starting to develop shape and I'm noticing this is the next muscle group that's going to benefit from my diet being consistent. Even my trainer mentioned that my legs were progressing! (That really felt good to hear! Even though I couldn't respond because I was in the middle of a set :)
- Shoulders/Back- Now this muscle group is my lead pony right now! I went to scratch my shoulder the other day and almost shocked myself, it's so weird to be able to feel hard muscles and know it's my body! One of the people I work with the other day complimented me on my arms so it's nice to know I'm not the only one seeing progress! But on a daily basis my back and shoulders are changing.
- Cardio Improvements- Today I did my outdoor cardio workout which included sprints, bleachers and a mile run. My mile run was at a faster pace than I was expecting and it really had my whole body working. I could feel the burn and my whole body working (even my abs!) and even though I did have the thought of "I wish I could stop/walk" I knew that was just a thought. The truth is I knew I was capable of pushing myself to that level and able to make it the entire distance.
- Metabolism- I've mentioned that I'm feeling hungrier than usual and do not get me wrong! I am NOT starving. My meals are the size to nourish my body and keep my body constantly working to burn the food into fuel. I don't ever really have that FULL feeling though, I'm never in pain from being so full. Except on my cheat meals which are awesome and doing their job! Which is to make my body have to work harder to burn through the food I ate (which is of course a higher calorie meal than I'm used to) and then the next day I drop back down to my regular meal plan but my body is still burning at a higher rate to digest the meal and I drop my caloric intake down. So there is a gap developed between what my body is burning from the cheat meal and what calories I'm supplying it. Which is a good thing for not only my body but my mind as well!!! :)
So even though I don't have a number attached to anything that doesn't mean that there aren't changes every day. I'm proud of my progress both emotionally and physically so far and I'm only excited about the next steps! I'm already in the development stage of designing my bikini! I've already picked the dress I want to wear on stage and the last thing is to find somewhere local to create my themewear outfit!!! Lot's of decisions to make and it all makes me feel like this journey is coming together! I don't want to give away too many details but I'll share as much as possible along the way! Thanks for reading and I look forward to more progress!
p.s. here's the color of my suit as a little bonus!! It's purple and sparkly and I love it!
Cheers,
Ash
Monday, May 6, 2013
Updates on my training life!
Hello!
Well last week I wasn't as motivated as I have been since I started. I did all my workouts I just wasn't in the mood to do my workouts. But since then I've picked up the intensity of my workouts, continued my meals as planned. I had one moment of weakness last week and although I'm embarrassed and a little ashamed to share about it, I will. I had a hard week and I had been busy at work all day and gotten home late in the evening. My husband was pulling an overnight at work and I had eaten my last meal and was still hungry and stressed. And there it was in the fridge.....that Reese's Peanut Butter blast ice cream (yes it taste as good as it sounds) that I had eaten a little of last week for part of my cheat dessert. And I grabbed a spoon and ate a few bites of it, right out of the carton......after I had several spoonfuls I threw the container away with the remaining ice cream. The next evening I told my husband about it and that I was upset with myself and disappointed. His reaction was hilarious, he said "thank goodness you're normal!" I've been able to say no to SO many things that I guess it was starting to worry my husband. I've been eating so well but my metabolism has gotten so high that it has started to make me hungry within 1-2 hours after I eat a meal. I hadn't gotten used to this feeling and I started to stress myself out about it and I had a moment of weakness. I used to be an emotional eater, stress would hit and I would want junk food or a sugar snack to make my worries feel better. But now I don't have that sugary security blanket. Now I just need to deal with whatever emotions I'm having and forget about the eating to feel better part. Here's the wrong way to deal with food- feeling that I'm ashamed and have failed at this process just because I had a moment of weakness. I had to fight the feeling that I was a failure and had ruined my progress. The truth is those feelings are all a lie. I've gained a lot through this process, I never quit even when I wasn't feeling my best. I did every workout when before I would have quit. I ate every meal I was supposed to afterwards and I wrapped up that day and threw it away and put all the shame with it. I am strong, capable and well on my way to being the best athlete I can be. I missed updating with last weeks progress pictures because I felt terrible but I've been a lean mean clean eating and working out lady as usual so this week there will be updates! Since the day with the ice cream I've realized something. I am at a point where I'm not as strong as I used to be with will power, so no more junk in the house, or baking and I'm ignoring food commercials as much as possible. I don't want to have anything trigger any cravings. I just visualize the end of this journey and how many people have said they are proud of me and excited for me and I wanted to be real about my journey. We all have moments of weakness, but you've got to pick yourself up and keep on going!! I hope that this helps someone with their journey.
As far as training goes, I'm researching different moves to mix up my workouts and make sure I'm able to really work out my muscle groups. I can't go easy on myself and if I am short on time that doesn't mean I go easy on myself. I just Superset moves. (I do a set and then another set back to back. Like lateral raise set then shoulder press set). My outdoor workout with sprints, bleachers and mile run has been good and a nice change of pace from the gym. I keep those as my day off workouts. I've been meeting with my trainer every week and next week I will have some cardio updates so I'll keep you posted on how scared and happy I am :)
Cheat meals: I get a cheat meal each week now!!!! I usually do them on Saturday and eat them whenever my schedule allows (lunch, breakfast, or dinner depending on my schedule) Because of my weakness during last week I kept my cheat a little leaner. I had sliced brisket, veggies, salad, sweet potato fries, and spinach dip. Dessert was a banana tortilla peanut butter roll up. I didn't want to have a cheesy pizza, or a big burger or anything too heavy but I wanted to enjoy myself also. I think the brisket hit the right balance of something different and a treat. I'm not sure what I'm wanting for next week really, I've thought about doing sushi or hibachi but I've got a few more days to think about it.
Thanks for reading this blog and I hope that whether it's the moments I shine or the moments I may fall short, that something I've gone through has helped someone! Well, guess it's back to prepping food for me!!
Cheers!
Ash
Well last week I wasn't as motivated as I have been since I started. I did all my workouts I just wasn't in the mood to do my workouts. But since then I've picked up the intensity of my workouts, continued my meals as planned. I had one moment of weakness last week and although I'm embarrassed and a little ashamed to share about it, I will. I had a hard week and I had been busy at work all day and gotten home late in the evening. My husband was pulling an overnight at work and I had eaten my last meal and was still hungry and stressed. And there it was in the fridge.....that Reese's Peanut Butter blast ice cream (yes it taste as good as it sounds) that I had eaten a little of last week for part of my cheat dessert. And I grabbed a spoon and ate a few bites of it, right out of the carton......after I had several spoonfuls I threw the container away with the remaining ice cream. The next evening I told my husband about it and that I was upset with myself and disappointed. His reaction was hilarious, he said "thank goodness you're normal!" I've been able to say no to SO many things that I guess it was starting to worry my husband. I've been eating so well but my metabolism has gotten so high that it has started to make me hungry within 1-2 hours after I eat a meal. I hadn't gotten used to this feeling and I started to stress myself out about it and I had a moment of weakness. I used to be an emotional eater, stress would hit and I would want junk food or a sugar snack to make my worries feel better. But now I don't have that sugary security blanket. Now I just need to deal with whatever emotions I'm having and forget about the eating to feel better part. Here's the wrong way to deal with food- feeling that I'm ashamed and have failed at this process just because I had a moment of weakness. I had to fight the feeling that I was a failure and had ruined my progress. The truth is those feelings are all a lie. I've gained a lot through this process, I never quit even when I wasn't feeling my best. I did every workout when before I would have quit. I ate every meal I was supposed to afterwards and I wrapped up that day and threw it away and put all the shame with it. I am strong, capable and well on my way to being the best athlete I can be. I missed updating with last weeks progress pictures because I felt terrible but I've been a lean mean clean eating and working out lady as usual so this week there will be updates! Since the day with the ice cream I've realized something. I am at a point where I'm not as strong as I used to be with will power, so no more junk in the house, or baking and I'm ignoring food commercials as much as possible. I don't want to have anything trigger any cravings. I just visualize the end of this journey and how many people have said they are proud of me and excited for me and I wanted to be real about my journey. We all have moments of weakness, but you've got to pick yourself up and keep on going!! I hope that this helps someone with their journey.
As far as training goes, I'm researching different moves to mix up my workouts and make sure I'm able to really work out my muscle groups. I can't go easy on myself and if I am short on time that doesn't mean I go easy on myself. I just Superset moves. (I do a set and then another set back to back. Like lateral raise set then shoulder press set). My outdoor workout with sprints, bleachers and mile run has been good and a nice change of pace from the gym. I keep those as my day off workouts. I've been meeting with my trainer every week and next week I will have some cardio updates so I'll keep you posted on how scared and happy I am :)
Cheat meals: I get a cheat meal each week now!!!! I usually do them on Saturday and eat them whenever my schedule allows (lunch, breakfast, or dinner depending on my schedule) Because of my weakness during last week I kept my cheat a little leaner. I had sliced brisket, veggies, salad, sweet potato fries, and spinach dip. Dessert was a banana tortilla peanut butter roll up. I didn't want to have a cheesy pizza, or a big burger or anything too heavy but I wanted to enjoy myself also. I think the brisket hit the right balance of something different and a treat. I'm not sure what I'm wanting for next week really, I've thought about doing sushi or hibachi but I've got a few more days to think about it.
Thanks for reading this blog and I hope that whether it's the moments I shine or the moments I may fall short, that something I've gone through has helped someone! Well, guess it's back to prepping food for me!!
Cheers!
Ash
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Limitations, we all have them but we don't have to live within them
Hello!
So today's post is all about limitations. I've been feeling them lately. You all know how it is when you set out to do something new and the shine wears off and you soon realize, it's just work. You can see past the glimmer and all you see ahead of you is a lot of work. Well the truth is that's when most people quit. When the tough starts showing through is when people go back to the way things used to be. I'm realizing that about myself. I've gone on this journey and I'm sitting at week 10 in the process and week 22 till show time and my motivation isn't as strong as it used to be. Does that mean I'm not putting in the hours or the work?? NO! All that means is that I realize I need to work harder at keeping my motivation going. Just because I haven't seen the end of this journey doesn't mean it's not possible and doesn't mean I won't be there. I continue to remind myself that it's getting tougher because its new territory, but it doesn't mean that I don't belong there. I keep myself ready, prepped and rested to take on the challenges and I'll get there. There are a lot of emotional things that can get in the way and keep you off the path too. Most recently I had a few days that I was feeling off my A game. I went to the gym, I lifted and did my cardio but my heart and mind were somewhere else. I recently dealt with a negative comment that kind of had a way of affecting me for several days. The thing is the comment was about me being selfish. Which did hurt my feelings. I make sure to focus on the relationships and friendships I have, I enjoy making other people feel special, and taking care of others. But here's the hard thing about being a woman sometimes, when you decide that you want to do something and stick to your decision people can have a hard time adjusting. People view the value of a woman in the giving of herself that she gives to her family, to others, to her husband and when that changes and she starts giving to herself too it can be hard to accept. I wasn't sure to talk to my coach about how I was feeling and how my workouts this week were going, but I decided to. The first thing she said was "Awesome!" which wasn't what I was expecting at all. She told me, this is a normal thing to happen along the journey. She said "You must be sticking to your decisions" which is funny she would say that because that is exactly what happened. I had made a decision and was being pressured into changing my mind in order to appease others. The old me would have done it in a heartbeat and that's how I became and stayed "the old me". I've done diets and workouts before and I've always cracked under pressure to not be as committed. With my personality I like to be a little different from the crowd but I don't like all the attention on me, I don't like to stand alone. Everyone can see you and really judge you when you do something different enough to stand alone. And right now I'm making decisions that make me stand out more. This is also new territory for me. I travel with a suitcase looking lunchbox, gallon of water and workout clothes, I have to say no all the time to people who offer me food or drinks, I eat out of tupperware all the time, and each one of these really doesn't seem like a big deal but put it all together and yeah, I seem a little different. I'm uncomfortable with the focus on what I'm doing at times but I don't want it to hold me back. I don't want to allow this to be a limitation on my progress and in the larger picture I don't want it to be a limitation on my life. Being willing to be different means that you might have to deal with the opinions others have on what you're doing. But here's the thing I had to realize about the situation, when I really looked at it I wasn't being selfish. I was being vocal about what I wanted and I think that being a female who can express what she wants can be seen as a negative thing. My ultimate goal is to be fit at the end of this journey of course! But also to keep who I am true, because for the first time in a long time I really like myself. I forgive myself for my faults, and I want to start embracing myself. No more carrying around the guilt of all the things I could have done or should have done and no more comparing myself to others. Sometimes the thing that has to change isn't everyone else, it's you. I'm working on how I get motivated, how I deal with problems, how I view myself, and how I stick up for myself. I hope that wherever you are and whatever you're going through you can remember to change the things you only have control over and let everything else go! Sorry for a ramble of a blog but there was a lot of thoughts rolling through my head today :)
Cheers!
Ash
So today's post is all about limitations. I've been feeling them lately. You all know how it is when you set out to do something new and the shine wears off and you soon realize, it's just work. You can see past the glimmer and all you see ahead of you is a lot of work. Well the truth is that's when most people quit. When the tough starts showing through is when people go back to the way things used to be. I'm realizing that about myself. I've gone on this journey and I'm sitting at week 10 in the process and week 22 till show time and my motivation isn't as strong as it used to be. Does that mean I'm not putting in the hours or the work?? NO! All that means is that I realize I need to work harder at keeping my motivation going. Just because I haven't seen the end of this journey doesn't mean it's not possible and doesn't mean I won't be there. I continue to remind myself that it's getting tougher because its new territory, but it doesn't mean that I don't belong there. I keep myself ready, prepped and rested to take on the challenges and I'll get there. There are a lot of emotional things that can get in the way and keep you off the path too. Most recently I had a few days that I was feeling off my A game. I went to the gym, I lifted and did my cardio but my heart and mind were somewhere else. I recently dealt with a negative comment that kind of had a way of affecting me for several days. The thing is the comment was about me being selfish. Which did hurt my feelings. I make sure to focus on the relationships and friendships I have, I enjoy making other people feel special, and taking care of others. But here's the hard thing about being a woman sometimes, when you decide that you want to do something and stick to your decision people can have a hard time adjusting. People view the value of a woman in the giving of herself that she gives to her family, to others, to her husband and when that changes and she starts giving to herself too it can be hard to accept. I wasn't sure to talk to my coach about how I was feeling and how my workouts this week were going, but I decided to. The first thing she said was "Awesome!" which wasn't what I was expecting at all. She told me, this is a normal thing to happen along the journey. She said "You must be sticking to your decisions" which is funny she would say that because that is exactly what happened. I had made a decision and was being pressured into changing my mind in order to appease others. The old me would have done it in a heartbeat and that's how I became and stayed "the old me". I've done diets and workouts before and I've always cracked under pressure to not be as committed. With my personality I like to be a little different from the crowd but I don't like all the attention on me, I don't like to stand alone. Everyone can see you and really judge you when you do something different enough to stand alone. And right now I'm making decisions that make me stand out more. This is also new territory for me. I travel with a suitcase looking lunchbox, gallon of water and workout clothes, I have to say no all the time to people who offer me food or drinks, I eat out of tupperware all the time, and each one of these really doesn't seem like a big deal but put it all together and yeah, I seem a little different. I'm uncomfortable with the focus on what I'm doing at times but I don't want it to hold me back. I don't want to allow this to be a limitation on my progress and in the larger picture I don't want it to be a limitation on my life. Being willing to be different means that you might have to deal with the opinions others have on what you're doing. But here's the thing I had to realize about the situation, when I really looked at it I wasn't being selfish. I was being vocal about what I wanted and I think that being a female who can express what she wants can be seen as a negative thing. My ultimate goal is to be fit at the end of this journey of course! But also to keep who I am true, because for the first time in a long time I really like myself. I forgive myself for my faults, and I want to start embracing myself. No more carrying around the guilt of all the things I could have done or should have done and no more comparing myself to others. Sometimes the thing that has to change isn't everyone else, it's you. I'm working on how I get motivated, how I deal with problems, how I view myself, and how I stick up for myself. I hope that wherever you are and whatever you're going through you can remember to change the things you only have control over and let everything else go! Sorry for a ramble of a blog but there was a lot of thoughts rolling through my head today :)
Cheers!
Ash
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