How do you view yourself?

Hola!

I had a realization today about myself and I wanted to post on what I've learned.  While talking with my coach today I described myself in passing as a "lazy ass", I meant it as reference to who I was before.  But let's face it when you have a bad image of yourself, whether who you used to be or who you are now, it can affect how you view yourself in the present.  I tend to be very hard on myself.  Instead of seeing all the good things I've done or accomplished I can tend to focus on all the things I still need to accomplish.  I can do a ton of stuff around the house and still see what I missed.  I can get a B on a test and see all the times I could have studied in order to get a better grade.  I tend to get offended if someone points out anything that I feel I haven't accomplished or that I'm not good at because I'm self conscious about it.  Then I can express myself in a sort of rude way when I feel like someone is seeing or pointing out all the things I'm self conscious about.  The thing is, I know this about myself.  I am trying to improve on how I react to others and also trying to improve the way I view myself.  I personally am too hard on myself.  I keep a running tally in my head of all the things I fall short on and the truth is I shouldn't.  I should let those things go because all that does is tie me to a negative view point of myself that isn't accurate.  So even though I called myself a "lazy ass" in passing the truth is that maybe in some way I am still holding on to that image of myself and I shouldn't be.   My coach immediately made sure that I stopped describing myself in that way.  Her words to me were "you don't seem like a lazy person".  And that's the truth, I'm not.  I've done the cardio and training like I'm supposed to, I've prepped my little tail off cooking in the kitchen for hours on end!  I've been planning my life so I can fit in all the things I need to do like working out, work, taking care of the house, spending time with my husband and making time to hang with friends and have fun!  I don't want to anchor myself with the negative, no one is perfect, and although I always want to push myself, I need to also understand when I fall short and just learn from it. It doesn't define who I am and it doesn't erase all the good qualities I do have.  I shouldn't focus on all the things I could do better and feeling like there's a scoreboard to my life where I'm down by a 1,000 points and never going to catch up.  I need to realize life isn't a long run of all the things you weren't able to make happen, it's all the things you did make happen.  I hope that by changing the way I see myself it will continue to have a positive impact on my health, myself and ultimately the relationships I build with people.  I have wonderful people in my life that love me and see all the goods things in me and accept all the flawed things because they know that in the end the only thing I'm trying to be is the best version of myself and a good person.

I understand that this isn't a fitness based post but I do believe that our emotional and mental state deserves just as much effort to make healthy as our physical.  There are plenty of things in life that are guided by our feelings of self worth.  I hope your day is happy, healthy and that you are learning to accept who you are entirely!

Cheers,
Ash