A whole new kind of pain.....

When I think back on my life I know that I've experienced pain before.  I lost loved ones, I've had a fight with a friend, I've stubbed my toe and I've been sick, I've lived through disappointments, I've lived through feeling like I'm a disappointment, I've made it through these moments in life and I know there will be future pain, because that's the beauty of life.  You get a life full of amazing moments, and I have had a great life, because even through the bad I'm thankful for life.  I've taken on this new challenge and it's a new kind of pain.  I've just come home from a workout where my trainer said these exact words  "It is going to take EVERYTHING you've got".  Now she didn't just mean the workout we were doing, she means these next 9 weeks.  The intensity in her eyes tells me that there is no room for error and that she's as serious as can be.  Today's workout tells me she means business.  She's equal parts love/compassion and get your ass in gear haha

So this has got my brain turning and thinking.  I'll be honest my first thought was "I'm scared/I don't know if I can do this" I wanted to stop myself from thinking this but I'd rather think it, release it and never bring it to another workout again.  Today's workout she pushed me and my back and arms are in a new kind of pain!  9 weeks.  That's the time I've got left.  I can see my limits, I can see where I've pushed myself before, almost like an island where you can see where the sand fades into the ocean.  I understand how some people can see this journey as vain because I'm pushing myself to "look a certain way" or "be a certain size" because they think that's what makes me happy.  And really it's not about that.  Having a great physique will be an added bonus, but I want to know that I can do more than I thought, push further than I think I can and be more disciplined than I've ever been before.  Can I choose a goal and dig deep to get to where I want to go.  That's what this is all about.  I'm in the process of building a better me.  That's all I can think about right now because it will get progressively harder.

So workouts by myself will have to increase the intensity.  This word was used several times during today's workout.  Bring more intensity, have more intensity.  Don't go half ass and don't think that I have to be perfect.  But I have to keep the intensity up to the standards with a Coach Candice workout.  I should feel like I'm struggling by the last few reps and still push it through even if I need to take a break.   It's not about hitting a certain rep # any more or a certain weight.  It's about working my muscles till I think they can't go any further and then doing 5 more reps on top of that.  I know that today's post wasn't a workout or food post but there are a lot of things that happen when you do something new or you have a new goal.  I hope that through my journey and by writing this blog I can see the moments where fear holds me back and break through it.  Life is too short for me not to see what I'm made of.  So thanks for reading (mostly because this took a long time for me to have enough strength come back to my arms so I could finish this post haha......I'm not kidding about that!)  Tomorrow is a picture progress post!  I'll post more then!!!  Till then I've still got a double cardio session and hopefully some nap time too so my muscles can rest a little :)

Perfect for today and the next 71 days :)

Cheers!
Ash

Dedication to the plan

Hello blog world!

As it gets closer and closer to the show date a million things are running through my head.  Practicing my walk/posing, buying my show shoes, travel plans, trying on my bikini next month, buying jewelry, getting my hair done, and the list goes on and on.  I'm taking care of things little by little and most of it is just stuff I have to wait for (I'm impatient sometimes.....  :)

But as much as I'm looking ahead to the finish, I also spent some time reflecting today.  I realized how much stronger I have been than I expected.  It's easy to think that I have my trainer and she's the one that has made everything happen but really that's not how its been.  Don't get me wrong my trainer is amazing and I wouldn't trade her for anything!  But she gave me the map, gave me the plan and everyday I made the choice to execute it.  I made it to the workouts, I chose to eat the right things, I divided up my weeks by muscle groups and I worked out by myself every day of the week but the one day with my trainer.  When I realize that everything I've built has been because of my effort, it feels amazing.  Sometimes we get into the grind of things and the day to day and before we know it we forget to reflect on where we started and take happiness in the journey so far.  It's been awesome, scary, intense, defeating at times and uplifting at times.  I've discovered more about myself from these challenges I've faced and I know I won't be the same person after this and it's all for the better.  And although it is about some of the physical changes but the real difference is sticking to a plan, being dedicated to something you can achieve with hard work and focus, and making a choice to do it everyday not just when you feel like it.

So how am I getting myself ready in these final weeks?   I've been focusing on meditation and taking some time to really slow down and focus my thoughts each day.  Block out the noise and really envision the end results from this journey.  I've been scouting other competitors and learning from youtube videos and such on ways to pose, what is expected from stage presence and outfits.  And I start my double cardio so I can kill this small layer of fat that is hiding some of my muscles!  Lean machine time!  :)

I just wanted to update on where my heads at, what I'm feeling while I sit only 10 weeks away from stage......can you believe this is the last double digit week!!!  Holy crap!!! :D  I'm excited and scared all at the same time!!!  Thanks for reading or following along and I'm sure I'll be focusing more of my nervous energy into the blog these upcoming weeks!

Cheers,
Ash

Heavy lifting, split workouts, and new diet

Hello blog world!!!

I've been busy putting in my gym time since my last post and doing new meal prep so I thought I would share!!!

WORKOUTS:
I am still awaiting my new cardio plans from my trainer, so for right now I am sticking to the previous cardio I have been doing.  6 days a week right now.  The only change that has happened is that I am doing fasted cardio now, so no eating before my sweat session!  My cardio is still 45 min long sessions. I do a lot more high intensity/low intensity phases to my cardio and I've been wearing my heart rate monitor too.

After my cardio I eat two meals before my second workout.  During my second workout my only focus is lifting, and lifting heavy.  I should only be able to get 8-10 reps done with the right amount of weight.  I'm focusing on shoulders at least two times a week, legs once a week with Coach Candice, abs at least 3 times a week, bicep/triceps once a week, back at least twice a week.  Sometimes I super-set my lifting depending on how I feel.  Either I will do two lifts back to back or put in a plyo of some sort in between sets (mountain climbers, an ab workout, burpees) which helps get my heart rate up in between my sets.

**eventually I will be doing two a day cardio sessions with my trainer and I will do the second one after training and eating the next two meals, or later in the day if my schedule needs it.


WORKOUT and MEALS

CARDIO

* 5 egg whites, 1/2 cup oatmeal with 1 tsp maca root powder, cinnamon/stevia and one tbl. nibs
* 30g protein powder (I use BSN whipped vanilla flavor), acai berry puree packet unsweetened, 1/2 cup raspberries, stevia and 1 tbl. unsweetened cocoa powder

LIFTING

* 4oz. Tuna, 1/2 cup celery, mustard and 2 plain rice cakes (I know it's weird but I seriously really like the rice cakes :)
*  4 oz.  chicken and 1 cup of broccoli

**When the time comes this will be my second cardio time or later in the day.  I'm thinking these sessions won't be as high intensity but will be longer (maybe 55 min-60 min) and I'll probably use my heart rate monitor in order to keep myself in the "fat burning" zone.  But that's just my best guess, I'll see what kind of torture, I mean cardio Coach Candice has in store for me :)


*  30g protein powder (I use BSN fresh cinnamon roll), ground chia seeds, 1 tbl. nibs
*  4 oz Orange Roughy fish (when I looked this fish up I was scared!!!  It's one crazy ass looking fish, but guess what.....it taste amazing!!!) and 3/4 cup green beans


No more cheat meals or extra anything, just this diet.  And if it needs to change based on how my body is doing then we can adjust from there.  My trainer warned me that I will start feeling hungry throughout the day.  My body is used to having more fats in my diet and taking them out will make me a little hungry.  But that's the point, if my proteins are leaner and my carbs are timed with my workouts so that they are absorbed and burned for fuel and I keep going through all 6 of my meals I should be well on my way to building the body I want!


Once I get my cardio list updated I will detail what I'm doing and how it's going.  I'll also post a pic this week of my progress!  Take care wherever you are and thanks for reading!!!

Cheers,
Ash

Happy Birthday, Happy Cheat Meal, Happy Day!

Hello blog world!

Yesterday was my last cheat meal and we had good friends with us to celebrate my husband's birthday and really enjoyed a brunch at a new spot that is amazing!!!  Here was my fabulous meal of choice:

Green chili, jalapeño bacon cheeseburger and sweet potato fries!! 

We lived in New Mexico for a few years and I was missing the New Mexican food flavor!!!  We found a bistro where the owner was from New Mexico and used Hatch chilies in some of his dishes!  So it was an amazing choice as a last meal to get me through this 11 weeks!  Well that and the cold stone ice cream I had afterwards too :)  I def made it count that's for sure!!!!  Again it's time to get down to business and wake up everyday to get my cardio in, get my heavy lifting in and enjoy my brown rice meal afterwards!  The only concern now for me is building up my shoulder muscles so I can get a good shape.  When we up the cardio in September I will of course lean out.

Here is my most recent progress pic:

Top row is current and bottom row is my day 1 start to this journey!  I'll post weekly pictures leading up to my contest day!!!

Thanks for reading and following my process!  I'm ready for this 11 week count down!  Here we go!!!

Cheers,

Ash

Saying goodbye to my dear friend, the cheat meal.

Hello blogger world!

Well you know what it's finally happened.  My cheat meals will be going bye bye.  I'm 11 weeks out from my first ever competition.  I'll be honest, I have fully enjoyed my cheat meal each week.  I get dressed up, do my make-up, have a date night with my husband and I've eaten some gourmet burgers and fries, gourmet pizza, fabulous steaks, some mac and cheese sides, some 4th of July cook outs, banana honey peanut butter wraps, and ice cream, cookies and the occasional candy for dessert.  (of course not all at once people, this is several weeks of cheat meals....but they were all good! :)  So it's 11 weeks out and Sunday will be my last cheat meal and my trainer said to make it a good one!  It's my husband's birthday this Sunday so I am glad I can enjoy some good food and celebrate with him!

Now I'll be honest about what went through my mind when she said this was my final cheat meal- "I don't know if I can do this" "What am I going to do" "I won't be able to go out and be social very much" These are all the first thoughts that came to my mind, they aren't positive and they aren't useful.  I mean you would have thought she was telling me I wouldn't be able to eat for 11 weeks!  It's not like I'm going without food, or that my body won't have enough nutrients.  I definitely have enough food in my diet plan and it's good food too.  And so here were my second thoughts "It's only 11 weeks" "That food will always be there" "Thank goodness I like my meal plan" "Thank goodness I have my husband to help me stay strong" "I can't wait to enjoy this last cheat meal!"  All positive thoughts, all realistic thoughts.  Can you imagine that some of the world is struggling to have food and my first thought is "oh no, I won't get to have ice cream!" Once I put my crazy in check I realized that I can do this.  It's nice when you can really recognize what control foods can have over your goals, then you know how to overcome them.

So I'll be enjoying my cheat meal come Sunday and I'll be enjoying the changes that happen from feeding my body consistent goodness long after that!  So here's to another 11 weeks and all the positive new changes to come!  (I can't really "cheers" with a drink so I will raise my gallon of water and my green tea to this!)

Cheers!
Ash

Small changes this month to give big results

Hello blog world!

FOOD CHANGES:

So I've been having a pretty steady diet so far mostly staying the same for the last two months.  This month my trainer has added some items to my diet in order to keep things from getting boring and also for specific use.

I've added avocado to my diet in my key lime pie shake (seriously this thing is delicious!!! ) I make my shakes more like a pudding because I like to eat it with a spoon :) Here's the recipe!

1 lime zest and then juice of lime
1/2 an avocado
2 small handfuls of UNSWEETNED coconut flakes
1 stevia
add water to desired consistency and blend!

The avocado has added a little more healthy fats in my diet and also I just freakin' love this shake!

Just recently I've switched out the salmon for shrimp for two reasons:  1.  It's just economical.  Salmon is the most expensive and so I don't mind switching it out and buying some bags of frozen shrimp and 2.  It's to switch things up.   After awhile I'm thinking of switching to adding back in the salmon and replacing the Tilapia meal for the shrimp because Tilapia is also a fatty type of fish and I think when I switch them out I will see some changes.

WORKOUT CHANGES:

Lifting heavy.  I'm talking heavier than I've lifted before.  I've gone from lifting moderate weight and doing 12-15 reps to adding about 10-15 lbs to each set (depending on what my body can handle) and doing 8-10 reps.  If I can do any reps past 10 then I need to go up a little in weight.  It doesn't take a lot of different moves for me to start feeling it!  I haven't really been sore too much during the journey unless I'm working out with Candice but this weeks workouts have left me pretty sore in each muscle group.  Which is awesome!  I've got to BUILD up my shoulders, and glutes so I can create the right body shape that I want.  My core will lean out and then I'll be left with a muscular hour glass type of shape.

For cardio Candice added in another day of cardio for 55 min at a steady heart rate pace of 140.  I watch netflix or hulu a show during this time because it's pretty boring but I put the incline at about 10 or 12 and increase the speed to about 3.0 or above until I hit 140 on my heart rate monitor.  Also I'm doing more interval workouts.  My cyber arc workout changed a little.  I do a variation of high and low intensity.  1 min high, 1 min low, 2 min high, 2 min low, 3 min high, 3 min low and then back to 1 min high 1 min low and so on until I hit 20 minutes then I keep it at the lower level but keep the intensity pretty steady for 15 min.  Just this little bit of change coupled with some of my sprinting session will help bring out the muscularity in my legs.

I'm also timing my workouts.  I've gone from working a full time (no weekends off- what!) job to a part time job and applying for grad school!  (yay!) so I have more time to plan my workouts throughout the day.  I wake up and do my cardio in the morning after eating my grapefruit.  And then I plan my lifting later in the day and eat my meal with brown rice after.  I'm interested to see how this timing changes my ability to build more muscle.  I'll keep you posted!

I've still got 12 weeks (11 weeks on Saturday) left of my training.  So what does my future hold?  I will be letting go of cheat meals soon....NOOOOO!!!!! :(  But I gotta do what I gotta do!  I'll be adding in a light fat burner (I forgot the name of it) but it has a little caffeine to help with fat loss and when September hits I'll be upping my cardio to some two a days.  Once you build up muscle you've got to shrink down the little amount of fat about it so I'm constantly building, and shrinking everyday!  It's tough sometimes.  Do I have cravings- hell yes.  Do I want junk food- hell yes.  Do I love sweets- hell yes.  Do I want to join in and have ice cream- hell yes.  Do I want chocolate when I have a crappy day- hell yes.  BUT I know that after this competition I want to take care of my body, I know that those foods will always be there so why not go for my goal and enjoy those treats (in moderation) later?  Why not take care of myself and prove that I can do this.  I'm pretty excited for this last stretch in my journey before I step on stage.  I mean it's not like I've got my bikini being delivered in August for my first fitting or anything right (just kidding, because I totally do!!! yikes I'm excited! :D)

Take care!

Cheers,
Ash